Guess i don't blog as frequent as i used to, been busy with the same old thing anyway... Hopefully after Japan will be more free to do other stuffs... Like vising my usual hangout, facebook-ing like there is no tomorrow, playing basketball ot my heart's content, and the most important of all, having enough sleep.... zzzzz...
During yesterday's breakfast, an interesting topic was touched on. Never expected it to appear in actually come up at such a time. Was having breakfast/lunch/brunch with friends at this Nepalese Restaurant, when someone joined us for a while. We were just discussing about changing the method of spreading messages from emails to me messaging everybody the news, when this person asked why am i able to spare so much messages. I just happen to not message much, and the most i ever used was 300-400+, always falling less than limit offered by the plan. She then said i should have girlfriend or something. And i just said i used the most when i had one.
Then the guy beside me questioned if it was cause we called a lot more, and i think i kind of said yes. He said such an understanding person this girl was. And i added on that we kind of see each other almost everyday, so kind of saved on the bills too. I should have saw the next question coming, but i didn't. And what question was that? "What happened?" Er...
I didn't answer that question. Cause i didn't knew how to.
I really should start on a shopping list for Japan soon, Don't want to miss out anything along the way. Still don't really get the Hello Kitty craze. Isn't it over?? =x
Last Sunday at a relative house, i suddenly realise how many relatives i have to buy back stuffs for. A small token will do, but the sheer amount made me realise i probably will come back with 1 more back then i went there with. Hopefully i make it through customs then...
Man... What's up with Singtel Mio internet anyway?? It screws up my hotmail, and i can only read it in school now... I guess screwing up some web pages aren't enough, it now screws with emails too... Ought to complain sometime soon...
Ah... Hopefully will be able troubleshoot the problem with my program tomorrow... Driving me crazy already. Looks like have to consult the supervisor... Please don't let him be occupied by the other group for the whole day... T.T
It's late. Better get to bed before i end up half dead in school tomorrow... See yah!!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Getting kinda dusty here,,,
What do people look forward to here anyway?? Some people have been asking me to update my blog. I'm tempted to just end here since it's actually considered an update, but i shall not be that bad. =x
I've just been busy. Busy with school project which have to be done before 4 weeks from now. Before i fly to Japan for competition for my project. Before i die from the pressure i'm putting on myself to complete it as soon as possible without getting distracted by anything or anyone. Kind of makes a a horrible person sometimes, especially when i can't think of how to settle a problem in the project, so sorry if i lost my cool or shouted at anyone, just been very tired and busy... =x
Sometimes we don't know we have gone overboard until we are drowning. That's why i don't like to talk too much sometimes, cause i, like anyone, have this tendency to talk a bit too much and get carried away. Especially nowadays when my patience seems to be wearing a lot thinner lately. Ah... can only hold back for so long before i go crazy again i guess...
Just watched 500 Days of Summer yesterday. Was an interesting movie. It may look like a love story, but it's not really one, just a story of boy meets girl. Some parts made me laugh, other parts were tear jerking, just because i felt i could relate to the feeling, and maybe cause i watched it in the middle of the night all worn out from the day... =x
Wanted to watch the movie with someone, but didn't thought i could find someone to watch it with. Just felt weird going to watch a movie alone, even though i wanted to do that...
Sometimes i wonder if people actually like to discriminate against certain people, or persons. That person screwed you up or is distasteful? It just seems like you are becoming like that person. What difference is there between that person and you if both of you are just as horrible? If you like being horrible then don't care about this then.
Sometimes i look around and i desperation. People desperate for attention. People desperate for affection. And sometimes i wonder why such desperation. Sticking around the girls with hope one will be attracted, flirting with the guys to get their attention. At the end of the day you may become the center of attraction, but at what cost?
Ah... I must be tried... So much nonsense today... I guess i will sleep after slacking around a bit more... See yah!!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Feels Like 12 at 3
When it was 3pm earlier, the sun felt like the usual noon sun... Screwed up weather... =x
I'm wondering if anyone would actually mind if their boyfriend/girlfriend had another girlfriend/boyfriend besides them. It just feels like somebody will be the third party, and whoever that may be won't really seem clear.
I guess is still don't really get some people, those that go around flirting with everyone around. It just gives off the air of desperation around them. Wonder why do they do it though... Insecure? Attention-seeking? Hmm...
Regarding one of my previous post, the one about lies. If you lied, and people found out, please admit it. It's frustrating for people and kind of stupid of you to keep denying the fact that you were lying.
Saw something interesting from the last paragraph from http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2009/09/26/devotion.aspx It’s better to believe in someone and have your heart broken than to have no heart at all. British poet Alfred Tennyson wrote, “ ’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
I guess that's why i'm still where i am, even after so many times people say those things had happen before. That's just me. And that's why i also don't agree with the operation proposed. It just drives wedges between people. I don't mind getting hurt i guess, as long as i'm being true to myself and who i am, and that the other party is fine. Damn i feel stupid all of a sudden... =x
Okay, i ought to have a early night tonight, going to have to come up with a new code for my robot... And maybe start on the new one too... See yah!!
1 Corinthians 13 Love 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I've got to breathe You can't take that from me Cause it's all that you left that's mine You had to leave And that's all I can see But you told me your love was blind
There are times You're so impossible that I should sign a waiver And you will find Someone worth walking on when you ask me to go
I'll leave when the wind blows Take a breath and there it goes I'll be outside of your window I'll pass by but I'll go slow I'll leave when the wind blows
There was a day You threw our love away Then you passed it to someone new You wanna stay But since you wanna play We can finally say we're through
There are times you're so impossible and you ask me to go
I'll leave when the wind blows Take a breath and there it goes I'll be outside of your window I'll pass by but I'll go slow I'll leave when the wind blows
You can scream there's just echoes Pass outside of your window You'll be sad that you let me go I'll leave but just know
As I lay in solitude Oh What's a boy supposed to do I Shake the very thought of you Me together, I remember Late nights when I stayed up late All I do is wait and wait Your never coming home to me That's the hardest thing to see
I got to breathe You can't take that from me We can finally say we're through
I'll leave when the wind blows Take a breath and there it goes I'll be outside of your window I'll pass by but I'll go slow I'll leave when the wind blows
You can scream there's just echoes Pass outside of your window You'll be sad that you let me go On every face you'll ever know And everywhere you ever go You'll feel when the wind blows
The Lies We Live In
Realized the title could be used as a song title, but that's not the point today/tonight/early this morning anyway.
All of us lied before, be it about the smallest things or biggest things. We lied to our parents, our friends, our teachers, those around us, and ourselves.
We lied, to run away from responsibilities and consequences. We lied, so we didn't have to do much. We lied, because we are scared of what our actions will cause. We lied, for self-interest, not knowing sometimes the truth is all it takes to clear things up.
White lies. Are they necessary?
Why do we lie to others, when all that needs to be done is just to say the truth? Are we really that scared of just admitting a mistake? Hiding the truth, why does it seem to create mistrust? Is it just a natural reaction to the unknown, do not trust something when you don't know the truth? Or does the truth frighten us? The truth that might show the world who we REALLY are, exposing the lies we live in?
Why do we lie to ourselves? Is that the first step to lying to others? If we can deceive ourselves, surly we can deceive anther person? Or is it that if we keep lying to ourselves, one day we would actually really believe in it? We can say there's nothing wrong with our current situation, but why are others able to see that it's all a lie sometimes? Horrible acting or just the sub conscience need for truth?
I find myself lying to myself quite often. "I don't care", when in fact, i want to jump up and settle it right away. Is that ok, to pretend to not care, when every fiber of me wants to care? Am i actually lying to myself?
Are we lying to ourselves, when others see a situation outrageous, but ourselves don't think it is?
Am i lying to myself that i'm fine with the way things are proceeding when i would have liked it to be otherwise? That i'm holding up fine when there are times i wish i could just break down and cry?
Why do we have to hide so many things?
I guess now the problem is that are we able to handle the truth when it comes.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Hmm... Now what should i get for the birthday this Saturday?? Have something in mind already, now to start looking for it later...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Breathe - Taylor Swift ft Colbie Caillat
I see your face in my mind as I drive away, Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way. People are people, And sometimes we change our minds. But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie, It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see. Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down, Now I don't know what to be without you around.
And we know it's never simple, Never easy. Never a clean break, no one here to save me. You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, And I can't, Breathe, Without you, But I have to, Breathe, Without you, But I have to.
Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. But people are people, And sometimes it doesn't work out, Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.
And we know it's never simple, Never easy. Never a clean break, no one here to save me. You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, And I can't, Breathe, Without you, But I have to, Breathe, Without you, But I have to.
It's two a.m. Feelin' like I just lost a friend. Hope you know it's not easy, Easy for me. It's two a.m. Feelin' like I just lost a friend. Hope you know this ain't easy, Easy for me.
And we know it's never simple, Never easy. Never a clean break, noone here to save me.
I can't, Breathe, Without you, But I have to, Breathe, Without you, But I have to.
Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high It never would've worked out right We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter Where we take this road someone's gotta go And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on soI'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder But I know that you'll find another That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in Perfect couldn't keep this love alive You know that I love you so, I love youenough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter Where we take this road someone's gotta go And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong I'm already gone, already gone There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter Where we take this road someone's gotta go And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong I'm already gone, already gone There's no moving on so I'm already gone
You would not believe your eyes If ten million fireflies Lit up the world as I fell asleep Cause they fill the open air And leave teardrops everywhere You think me rude, but I would just stand and stare
I'd like to make myself believe That planet earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep Cause everything is never as it seems
Cause I get a thousand hugs From ten thousand lightning bugs As they try to teach me how to dance A foxtrot above my head A sockhop beneath my bed The disco ball is just hanging by a thread (thread, thread)
I'd like to make myself believe That planet earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)
Leave my door open just a crack (Please take me away from here) Cause I feel like such an insomniac (Please take me away from here) Why do I tire of counting sheep? (Please take me away from here) When I'm far to tired to fall asleep
To ten million fireflies I'm weird cuz I hate goodbyes I got misty eyes as they said farewell (said farewell) But I know where several are If my dreams get real bizarre Cause I saved a few and I keep 'em in a jar
I'd like to make myself believe That planet earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)
I'd like to make myself believe That planet earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)
I'd like to make myself believe That planet earth turns slowly It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep Cause my dreams are bursting at the seams
-Owl City
Thursday, August 20, 2009
So now in school alone, going to start digging into my dinner which i brought into the project room. Been a while since i blogged. Just could never really fine the mood or time to blog until now.
Finally finished most of the project design today. Submitting it in tomorrow. For now i guess it's back to studying. 3 papers... Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Hmm... concentrate on the first 2 now, then the in between period go for the last one... Simple enough plan i guess... =x
Met up with pastor last Wednesday just to talk. Older people tend to have better view on things and better advice to give, not that he's very old. =x
Talked about quite a few stuffs i guess, about my life and his life. He's wondering how his life will be affected by his soon-to-be-born baby. Kind of talked a little about how my current CG leaders. They, a couple, are quite interesting. There are times when you can see them bicker and the rest of the group will kind of start looking at each other. But this bickering doesn't talk much about their relationship. They have 3 kids, 2 which are around uni age and doing quite well. And the only conclusion that can be drawn from these kids are that the parents are loving, something that can be quite hard to see at times... =x
Man... Estate management off the air-con earlier then usual today... It's only 6:30pm...
I don't like to hide things. To have to hide usually means that it's not something that you want people to know. And usually people only only hide bad stuffs, wrong stuffs. Almost as good at lying. How would you feel if people were hiding things from you? Lying to you? Not a nice feeling.
If there's something you don't want to let me know or show me, it would be easier to just tell me to turn or go away, cause i will. I won't pester or push to know, unless you tempt me with it... =x
I guess i should be leaving this spot soon, eating alone in this room just feels very weird...
I got not much left to hide i guess. It gets tiring hiding stuffs all the time. Me not hiding anything doesn't mean i will talk about everything. And i'm sure sometimes you may get your answer from the silence.
Ah... I think i got to get out of here... Alone in Alpha Centre just feels weird... Oh well... See yah!!.
