Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Not in your hands
My happiness is definitely not defined by anyone out there at the moment. It once was, but i've learned that it best left in the hands of someone that cares about how i feel.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
And of all days to roll my ankle...
It just has to be on the day i was thinking of playing a little basketball... All i did was rush a little and feet landed wrong way... What's up with my legs anyway?? >.<
Been very tired and cranky recently... Doing 3 projects at the same time, all due next week... Trying to bear with certain irritating people... Insufficient sleep... NS letters screwing me up for no reason... Dad jobless... And now add strange-feeling-ankle to the list... All the damn pressure sure can drive one crazy... Provided i'm not yet crazy...
The NS people send me back a letter saying i didn't send them back the medical questionnaire, was pissed cause 1) i was tired and 2) my mom sent it for me, chances are damn low for it to be lost. So when my mom volunteered to call up to check, i accepted it... Why not? What better weapon then one's mom? In the end, they got the report already, and i don't have to go down. And since Javier had the same problem, they called him up and told him don't need to come down. Saved both our asses from the government... Phew... Didn't want to waste my time going down again... Not the most convenient of places to go to early in the morning...
My dad lost his job? Yup. His boss told him to either resign or face the consequences, so what choice did he have? Best part? Left his job on new year eve. Talk about an early new year present... What's so stressful about that? Try being the eldest kid/male in the family, more stuff i have to step up and do now. Why to people think i rush home earlier then usually nowadays? And i'm cutting down my spending too.
And sometimes it's not that i'm rude, it's just that i'm thinking a little too much at the moment, thinking of what i can do, be it to help in the family or to do my project. Too deep in though. Never knew the habit would make a comeback...
With all the thoughts and work, throw in fatigue in the mix and you get what i am now. Of course i'll still smile, it requires less energy then frowning anyway... =x
Was thinking about the habits of someone and suddenly the word "Nomad" comes to mind. A nomad is something like someone who wanders around, not settling down anywhere. In what way is it related to the person that came to mind? He/She wanders from group to group, moving on after attention has worn off. And the thing is that the groups didn't really exist in the first place, there were just a whole bunch of people, and the people actually communicated instead of leaving others behind. Yah, so thanks for leaving those few of us behind and not being bothered even to just ask. Thanks for not taking the effort. Now if only i could find a mirror that would reflect back what we really look like inside...
And no, i'm not angry. Just... Not angry. Can't really describe the feeling, maybe cause i'm a little too tired. I'm not pissed too. I'm just... Er... Flabbergasted? Cause now, most of the people can't be bothered to tell others off, trying to end school with a good note. But people can see what kind of who we really are, and if they are okay with you being ugly, i guess that's their standard.
I wonder if it's me or do usually girls like attention? Maybe it's that everyone likes attention, but it seems that some are more vocal, exclaiming,: "ENTERTAIN ME!!", to some that go around flirting to get it. I don't know how you people feel, but the moment it gets to the part where you start messing with people feelings is the moment you get too far. Don't let feelings blind you, but us youth being youth, will only learn our lessons after screwing up... Oh well... The pains of growing up...
It seems like now with so many things floating around in my mind, the girls are the least of things that come to mind. I guess i used to like to think a little about the future, to daydream so as to say. But now, the present is taking up so much of thought processing it gets hard to think of stuffs that have no relation to now. I would like to think ahead, but now i prefer to take a step at a time until the storm has passed, thank you very much.
Ah... And recently in church we were talking about resting in God... Now to find rest in the middle of all these chaos... Ah, the irony... XD
Sometimes i feel used. Used like an item. A disposable one too. Done with what you want to do, i get thrown aside. Come on and save the Earth, stop treating everything as disposable. If everyone adopted that kind of habit, imagine how much more "cleaner" the world will be, with everyone feeling better cause they are treasured, knowing that they wouldn't b treated as disposables. Okay, i'm talking random stuff that seems to make no sense at all even after me trying to make them make sense. =x
Ah... That must be a sign for me to go rest, all the mindless rambling... See yah!!
Been very tired and cranky recently... Doing 3 projects at the same time, all due next week... Trying to bear with certain irritating people... Insufficient sleep... NS letters screwing me up for no reason... Dad jobless... And now add strange-feeling-ankle to the list... All the damn pressure sure can drive one crazy... Provided i'm not yet crazy...
The NS people send me back a letter saying i didn't send them back the medical questionnaire, was pissed cause 1) i was tired and 2) my mom sent it for me, chances are damn low for it to be lost. So when my mom volunteered to call up to check, i accepted it... Why not? What better weapon then one's mom? In the end, they got the report already, and i don't have to go down. And since Javier had the same problem, they called him up and told him don't need to come down. Saved both our asses from the government... Phew... Didn't want to waste my time going down again... Not the most convenient of places to go to early in the morning...
My dad lost his job? Yup. His boss told him to either resign or face the consequences, so what choice did he have? Best part? Left his job on new year eve. Talk about an early new year present... What's so stressful about that? Try being the eldest kid/male in the family, more stuff i have to step up and do now. Why to people think i rush home earlier then usually nowadays? And i'm cutting down my spending too.
And sometimes it's not that i'm rude, it's just that i'm thinking a little too much at the moment, thinking of what i can do, be it to help in the family or to do my project. Too deep in though. Never knew the habit would make a comeback...
With all the thoughts and work, throw in fatigue in the mix and you get what i am now. Of course i'll still smile, it requires less energy then frowning anyway... =x
Was thinking about the habits of someone and suddenly the word "Nomad" comes to mind. A nomad is something like someone who wanders around, not settling down anywhere. In what way is it related to the person that came to mind? He/She wanders from group to group, moving on after attention has worn off. And the thing is that the groups didn't really exist in the first place, there were just a whole bunch of people, and the people actually communicated instead of leaving others behind. Yah, so thanks for leaving those few of us behind and not being bothered even to just ask. Thanks for not taking the effort. Now if only i could find a mirror that would reflect back what we really look like inside...
And no, i'm not angry. Just... Not angry. Can't really describe the feeling, maybe cause i'm a little too tired. I'm not pissed too. I'm just... Er... Flabbergasted? Cause now, most of the people can't be bothered to tell others off, trying to end school with a good note. But people can see what kind of who we really are, and if they are okay with you being ugly, i guess that's their standard.
I wonder if it's me or do usually girls like attention? Maybe it's that everyone likes attention, but it seems that some are more vocal, exclaiming,: "ENTERTAIN ME!!", to some that go around flirting to get it. I don't know how you people feel, but the moment it gets to the part where you start messing with people feelings is the moment you get too far. Don't let feelings blind you, but us youth being youth, will only learn our lessons after screwing up... Oh well... The pains of growing up...
It seems like now with so many things floating around in my mind, the girls are the least of things that come to mind. I guess i used to like to think a little about the future, to daydream so as to say. But now, the present is taking up so much of thought processing it gets hard to think of stuffs that have no relation to now. I would like to think ahead, but now i prefer to take a step at a time until the storm has passed, thank you very much.
Ah... And recently in church we were talking about resting in God... Now to find rest in the middle of all these chaos... Ah, the irony... XD
Sometimes i feel used. Used like an item. A disposable one too. Done with what you want to do, i get thrown aside. Come on and save the Earth, stop treating everything as disposable. If everyone adopted that kind of habit, imagine how much more "cleaner" the world will be, with everyone feeling better cause they are treasured, knowing that they wouldn't b treated as disposables. Okay, i'm talking random stuff that seems to make no sense at all even after me trying to make them make sense. =x
Ah... That must be a sign for me to go rest, all the mindless rambling... See yah!!
Friday, January 01, 2010
The Year of Rediscoveries, 2009
Finally this blog gets updated again. I guess i will start with the usually reflection first before the resolutions that may not be even remembered after 1 month... =x
Highlights of the year:
Hmm... That's all i can remember at the moment, but before the resolutions, let take a look at last year's resolution before proceeding to new resolutions...
AH... For those who wondered about how my Japan trip was like, it was... Busy... Had to deal with the competition and didn't have enough time for fun or shopping thanks to the schedule and leaving the day after competition... Was fun while it lasted. First time on a plane that isn't a budget airline. First time i don't have pay for anything on the plane... Photos for the trip on Facebook, cause i'm lazy to post them up =x
On the first day, arrived in the afternoon, sat an hour train trip from the Narita Airport to Akihabara, checked in and had dinner at a Yoshinoya. Never knew warm food would have felt so good... Especially to a person like me that don't like to eat hot stuffs cause it slows down my eating speed. But in Japan, the temperature seems just right... And the food always hits the right spots... Ah....
2nd day, went looking around in the morning before having lunch nearby and heading to the competition venue which is another 1 hour train trip away at Tsukuba... That day was just for testing of the robots. Did some slight modifications on the spot to the program. Couldn't do much due to the sheer amount of people taking part... Most of those who took part in the same competition had robots that weren't actually working... (I took part in a competition that the robot has to move along a line as fast as possible) Went back to Akihabara for dinner and more programming at night... >.<
3rd day, went earlier to prepare for the competition. And had to wait till afternoon for my turn... There were around 140 people taking part in that damn competition... and around half the robots there couldn't run at all... imagine staring and hoping for someone's else robot to work only to see it either not moving or crawling at a snail pace in a competition of speed... Anyway, when it reached my turn, i only have 3 minutes to run my robot 3 times... 1st time was ok, 2nd time screwed up and i almost died of a heart attack... Thank goodness my partner was there... 3rd time completed the course fast enough to be qualified for the next day. Thanks goodness i qualified... Or else i didn't know what i would have done with the next whole day free... =x My supervisor qualified for the finals of Micromouse and Robotracer(what i was in) too. Ah... I qualified as one of the bottom few... He qualified as Number 2 in both competition... T.T
4th day, had to go an hour earlier cause the finals started earlier... The moment we saw the final course, we comforted ourselves with the fact that we had already qualified, and that in itself was a accomplishment... =x Anyway, of the 31 that qualified, only around half the people completed the final course, and i'm proud that my robot did so to, just maybe not at a very fast speed... the surprise of the day? My supervisor won the competition. The defending champion wasted too much of his 3 minutes on the calibration of his sensors. =x
5th day, we had half the day to shop before we had to rush to the airport... Rushed around Shinjuku and Akihabara shopping for last minute things... Should have bought more... T.T
And that's the summary of the trip. Remember, photos on Facebook. Not that hard to find. And that's all for now. Time to see what's happening in Lord of the Rings on TV now... See yah!!
Highlights of the year:
- JAPAN TRIP!!! If only it was longer... T.T
- FYP finally became fun (because of the Japan trip =x)
- I survived more the year!! (not that it's that difficult to accomplish, but still worth remembering)
- JKL FORMATION!! =X
- I can finally shoot a basketball decently, yeah
- can do more than half a pull up
- (fill in with what ever i forgot to mention bus worthy to be on the list)
- Back stabbed by someone all too familiar
- Injury prone leg... T.T
- Grew fatter...
- (fill in stuffs i won't like to talk about... )
Hmm... That's all i can remember at the moment, but before the resolutions, let take a look at last year's resolution before proceeding to new resolutions...
- PLAY MORE GUITAR!!
- Read bible more often
- Save money regularly (Less on food... T.T)
Destroy the worldContinue walking with God- Try to contribute more to Crusade? (thinking about)
- Put more effort into homework... Even slightly more would be good...
- Start training for NAPFA
- Complete blogskin... Have to escape people stereotyping me as emo...
- GET MY PAY!!! *Finds trusty knife*
- Think about what i want for my future. Got a few things in mind.
- Use basketball more regularly, try shooting with left hand
- Pull skates out of retirement if time allows?
- STAY SINGLE (unless some how God shows me otherwise =x)
- Forgive all that have wronged me
- SELF-CONTROL KELVIN, SELF-CONTROL!!
- Improve on last year's horrible rating
- Live life to the fullest
- Try to have fun while living life?
- Don't give up on the guitar...
- EXERCISE DAMN IT
- Be mentally prepared for NS
- SAVE MONEY!! Especially to go back to Japan...
- Find work before NS
- Get more sleep... zzzz...
AH... For those who wondered about how my Japan trip was like, it was... Busy... Had to deal with the competition and didn't have enough time for fun or shopping thanks to the schedule and leaving the day after competition... Was fun while it lasted. First time on a plane that isn't a budget airline. First time i don't have pay for anything on the plane... Photos for the trip on Facebook, cause i'm lazy to post them up =x
On the first day, arrived in the afternoon, sat an hour train trip from the Narita Airport to Akihabara, checked in and had dinner at a Yoshinoya. Never knew warm food would have felt so good... Especially to a person like me that don't like to eat hot stuffs cause it slows down my eating speed. But in Japan, the temperature seems just right... And the food always hits the right spots... Ah....
2nd day, went looking around in the morning before having lunch nearby and heading to the competition venue which is another 1 hour train trip away at Tsukuba... That day was just for testing of the robots. Did some slight modifications on the spot to the program. Couldn't do much due to the sheer amount of people taking part... Most of those who took part in the same competition had robots that weren't actually working... (I took part in a competition that the robot has to move along a line as fast as possible) Went back to Akihabara for dinner and more programming at night... >.<
3rd day, went earlier to prepare for the competition. And had to wait till afternoon for my turn... There were around 140 people taking part in that damn competition... and around half the robots there couldn't run at all... imagine staring and hoping for someone's else robot to work only to see it either not moving or crawling at a snail pace in a competition of speed... Anyway, when it reached my turn, i only have 3 minutes to run my robot 3 times... 1st time was ok, 2nd time screwed up and i almost died of a heart attack... Thank goodness my partner was there... 3rd time completed the course fast enough to be qualified for the next day. Thanks goodness i qualified... Or else i didn't know what i would have done with the next whole day free... =x My supervisor qualified for the finals of Micromouse and Robotracer(what i was in) too. Ah... I qualified as one of the bottom few... He qualified as Number 2 in both competition... T.T
4th day, had to go an hour earlier cause the finals started earlier... The moment we saw the final course, we comforted ourselves with the fact that we had already qualified, and that in itself was a accomplishment... =x Anyway, of the 31 that qualified, only around half the people completed the final course, and i'm proud that my robot did so to, just maybe not at a very fast speed... the surprise of the day? My supervisor won the competition. The defending champion wasted too much of his 3 minutes on the calibration of his sensors. =x
5th day, we had half the day to shop before we had to rush to the airport... Rushed around Shinjuku and Akihabara shopping for last minute things... Should have bought more... T.T
And that's the summary of the trip. Remember, photos on Facebook. Not that hard to find. And that's all for now. Time to see what's happening in Lord of the Rings on TV now... See yah!!
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