Thursday, January 07, 2010

And of all days to roll my ankle...

It just has to be on the day i was thinking of playing a little basketball... All i did was rush a little and feet landed wrong way... What's up with my legs anyway?? >.<

Been very tired and cranky recently... Doing 3 projects at the same time, all due next week... Trying to bear with certain irritating people... Insufficient sleep... NS letters screwing me up for no reason... Dad jobless... And now add strange-feeling-ankle to the list... All the damn pressure sure can drive one crazy... Provided i'm not yet crazy...

The NS people send me back a letter saying i didn't send them back the medical questionnaire, was pissed cause 1) i was tired and 2) my mom sent it for me, chances are damn low for it to be lost. So when my mom volunteered to call up to check, i accepted it... Why not? What better weapon then one's mom? In the end, they got the report already, and i don't have to go down. And since Javier had the same problem, they called him up and told him don't need to come down. Saved both our asses from the government... Phew... Didn't want to waste my time going down again... Not the most convenient of places to go to early in the morning...

My dad lost his job? Yup. His boss told him to either resign or face the consequences, so what choice did he have? Best part? Left his job on new year eve. Talk about an early new year present... What's so stressful about that? Try being the eldest kid/male in the family, more stuff i have to step up and do now. Why to people think i rush home earlier then usually nowadays? And i'm cutting down my spending too.

And sometimes it's not that i'm rude, it's just that i'm thinking a little too much at the moment, thinking of what i can do, be it to help in the family or to do my project. Too deep in though. Never knew the habit would make a comeback...

With all the thoughts and work, throw in fatigue in the mix and you get what i am now. Of course i'll still smile, it requires less energy then frowning anyway... =x

Was thinking about the habits of someone and suddenly the word "Nomad" comes to mind. A nomad is something like someone who wanders around, not settling down anywhere. In what way is it related to the person that came to mind? He/She wanders from group to group, moving on after attention has worn off. And the thing is that the groups didn't really exist in the first place, there were just a whole bunch of people, and the people actually communicated instead of leaving others behind. Yah, so thanks for leaving those few of us behind and not being bothered even to just ask. Thanks for not taking the effort. Now if only i could find a mirror that would reflect back what we really look like inside...

And no, i'm not angry. Just... Not angry. Can't really describe the feeling, maybe cause i'm a little too tired. I'm not pissed too. I'm just... Er... Flabbergasted? Cause now, most of the people can't be bothered to tell others off, trying to end school with a good note. But people can see what kind of who we really are, and if they are okay with you being ugly, i guess that's their standard.

I wonder if it's me or do usually girls like attention? Maybe it's that everyone likes attention, but it seems that some are more vocal, exclaiming,: "ENTERTAIN ME!!", to some that go around flirting to get it. I don't know how you people feel, but the moment it gets to the part where you start messing with people feelings is the moment you get too far. Don't let feelings blind you, but us youth being youth, will only learn our lessons after screwing up... Oh well... The pains of growing up...

It seems like now with so many things floating around in my mind, the girls are the least of things that come to mind. I guess i used to like to think a little about the future, to daydream so as to say. But now, the present is taking up so much of thought processing it gets hard to think of stuffs that have no relation to now. I would like to think ahead, but now i prefer to take a step at a time until the storm has passed, thank you very much.

Ah... And recently in church we were talking about resting in God... Now to find rest in the middle of all these chaos... Ah, the irony... XD

Sometimes i feel used. Used like an item. A disposable one too. Done with what you want to do, i get thrown aside. Come on and save the Earth, stop treating everything as disposable. If everyone adopted that kind of habit, imagine how much more "cleaner" the world will be, with everyone feeling better cause they are treasured, knowing that they wouldn't b treated as disposables. Okay, i'm talking random stuff that seems to make no sense at all even after me trying to make them make sense. =x

Ah... That must be a sign for me to go rest, all the mindless rambling... See yah!!

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