Back From The Hospital...

I am just back from the hospital. It got nothing to do with anybody except me. The docter at SGH diagonised me with pneumothorax(what ever it is...). It sounds serious. It is. At least to me then. It is "a collection of air between the outside surface of the lung and the inside surface of the chest wall. These two surfaces are lined with a smooth membrane called pleura and normally are in contact with each other, but they can become separated when air, fluid or blood collects between them." (For more info, google it as i just copied and pasted...) The doctor told me that he was going to numb my chest with an injection before be is going to insert a needle in to draw out the air. Did it hurt? Of course it did!!! And Nat: The air collected there is not poisonous as the air came from my lungs.

I was shivering from the nervousness through out the whole ordeal. Next, they placed another needle into my arm for the dripper thingey, another ouch... and that was before the actual needle going into my chest to draw out the air. I chose not to look throughout the whole ordeal and kept my eyes shut. And yes, i was awake throughout it. He injected the thing suppose to numb the chest but i didn't feel anything besides the needle entering and leaving my chest. Ouch i tell you... Next came the actual needle meant to suck out the air. In it went. Sliding in. Then it poked something in my chest. Something inside. that was then i really showed i was in pain. Please... he could be poking mylung or something... Then who i think was the senior doctor said that he had to do a re-entry... RE-ENTRY?!?!?! Sheesh.... I felt the needle SLIDING out and SLIDING into my chest again... OUCH... Finally I heard they could see bubbles coming out... Was in that position for around 10 minutes plus... Finally the needle was removed... They covered up the hole and i was sent for an X-ray again(had one eariler to figure out it was pneumothorax. ) to see if the air bubble was at least 3 quarters gone. Thank goodness taht was the case and they didn't have to stick a tube into me...

That was yesterday. This morning i was sent for the x-ray again. And the problem has resurfaced. The doctor said i had to go for the the operation(the tube thingey...)and was warded. Later another doctor did a check up on me and said i was fine to go home. Man was i happy... Just imagine me with a tube sticking out from the side of my chest...*SHIVER*

Finally I am back home... with two weeks mc from pe and 2 days of resting without doing any thing exciting, heart pumping, etc... Chinese New Year night spent in the hospital, very ironic...

That all for today. And as usual, comments on the tagboard please!!!! And don't worry about what struck me to strike you. Tall and thin people have a higher chance of getting this. And It is because of a weak lung. So till next time, stay healthy. You can ask me to see the "hole" marks the next time you see me...

Would You People Mind Not Leaving Me Alone?

This title only applies to everyone except when i want to be alone.(Like now when i want some privacy typing this entry.) I will never say my what my titles say out loud.(or i never had...) Who never wanted to feel cared for? But i got a feeling i won't be feeling that for a very long time... Why? My mom will say she is too "busy" with "work". My dad? Too tired most of the time.

Why am i typing this kind of things now? Who kows? I just don't want to think too much now. Too tired now. Too lazy now. I have nothing much to recount today besides a boring concert at school to celebrate Chinese New Year... Not that my friends' performance was boring(not blaming anyone hor), but i just got sick of 4 years of concert where the underlying theme is the same... Make that 10 years... with the to ten years of education(maybe more i think so...)... ARGH!! I am going brainless soon... I ned a new method to destress beside playing basketball... cannot play for so long already... feeling the stress build-up long ago already...

I am planning to change skin again. Recently saw an interesting one... (or at least to me...) If i see a better one, i will probably use that instead of the one i decided on. Ha... What am i telling myself? Opps... I have started talking to myself...

Hah... My bro wants to use my computer to play Maple story... Man... my computer won't allow him to... He is taking this for granted... You want to play, you have to earn it, right? If only that applies to everybody...

That's all the ranting i have for today i hope. Will i become happier? Will my mom stop complaining? Will my brother become sensible? Will the world become a better palce? We can only hope, so till next time never stop hopeing for what that seems impossible, cause all we can do is hope. Don't give up on hope, unlike me who have on some things...

I Am Sick Of Drinking Water!!!

So what if i am sick? Oh sure i have to drink tons of water but i think i have drank enough to fill up 2 and a half bottles of those 1.5 litres bottles. But now my lips still fill dry. Do i need a drink? Yes... Do i want to drink? No... i have drank water so much this past 3 days that the water tastes sour... HELP!!! What else am i suppose to be able to drink when i am sick besides water, water and more water? I am so full now... of water i suppose...

Second day not in school. WOW!!! I got away with it... But i seem to have missed out a lot of classes in school. ARGH!!! How am i supposed to handle my "O" levels this year well? Hope i won't fall sick unnecessary again this year. Did anyone miss me while I was Away? I shall have the answer tomorrow... hehehe...

I still feel uncomfortable, a little dizzy with a headache. How am i supposed to comcentrate in class tomorrow? By force man, force yourself to stay awake... Why am i talking yo myself all of a sudden? And here i go again...

Guess that's all for today. And Nat: you can't command me to go back to school, cause i will have to as my MC doesen't cover for tomorrow... So see you tomorrow. Still the next time, still next time... till next time... keep smilimg okay? (I need to find a better way of ending My entries...

In A Daze...

Like i said, i was sick from yesterday. I am still sick as i think only my medicine is suppressing my illness. I actually have fever, a running nose, a sore troat and a little gastric... COMPLICATED.... man, i drank so much water today that i got sick of water but i still have to drink it as my troat gets dry very easily. I need water 24/7 now but i also need to sleep properly. I sill can't sleep well. the medicine supposely to cause drowsiness is causing nothing to happen to me. I am still wide awake, at least for now... Is it because i got too much caffine in me? I don't know...

I just realised this is the 56th post on this blog eariler. It was like "WOW" as that is alot.... most of them are probably short entries anyway... And currenly I feel tired but will i be able to sleep? hope so... Will i be able to go to school tomorrow? Have to see if my fever is okay by tomorrow moring cause today morining i woke up with my face burning. Will people miss me? Of course there will but it will be the minority of the minority of the minority of the people i know... Talk about "minority" being used so many times in a sentance. At least people showed concern when i went down with fver in school. Some also did the same when i went online on MSN. guess i was touched and so i am typing about this now. But i don't cry. So I am showing my appreciation here. Thanks for the concern people!!!!

That's probably all for today. Oh sure anyone of my teachers may be reading this but now it doesn't matter, as like Swee Hao said taht blogs are meant for us to express ourselves, or something like that.(Sorry if i say wrongly hor...) And so i shall end the way i have always have: Still next time, keep smiling and never let idiots get to you cause when you let them get to you, you have just lost to them.

Sick In A Different Way...

I feel sick. Not disgusted sick. Just sick. I am supposely down with only flu yesterday night. I just told my mom i was feeling sick(honestly i was with a sore troat, running nose etc...) and don't want to go to school. She just packed me and asked me to go to school. Saying, : "What r are you going to do at home?" I am just sick and need a break!!! So back to school I went. Only to develope a fever later. And I felt HORRIBLE... Try feeling this : you want t lie down but u can't and your body is aching all over and you can feel your face burning due to the fever.

Okay, I went to the office to report sick and call you. You just asked me to call a taxi and run away from school? Guess you only rea;ised you were wrong when my form teacher spoke to you. it is school policy not to just let anyone out of the school during school hours with out a guardian or parent. Which part of that do you not understand?

Guess it's no use being angry anyway, so i will just talk bout something else today.(but it is still related to my illness) During recess, i was chatting with a friend when i just said i was sick and couldn't make it after school. When he asked me which part of my body was sick, with a few options of head(mental), heart(love?) and body(bodily illness like what i am feeling now). I just replied everything, which is true to a certain extend. he just started talking about mebeing love sick... Hey! I said everything, do not just concentrate on the heart. Anyway, why was the answer "everything" true? Well, lets start with teh easiest. Bodily as i am sick with a fever that comes and goes as it likes. Head as i have gone slightly bonkers thanks to my hectic lifestyle and mom. Heart... erm... heart... because... because... let's just say it is personal, okay? Back to topic agan, told ya i was sick in all those ways...

Got to go now. I am hoping the medicine that i was given works as i need the drowsiness it provides to sleep tonight. So till next time, peace, shalom and whatever that cmes to your mind with peace to you. And remember to keep that smile on your face.

Mentally Disturbed Now...

I Just went to nanyang poly for their open house today. Came back, and started everything normal. Then while having dinner, my mom just shouted at me for"slaming " the rice cooker lid. I just controlled myself not to shout and walked out of the kitchen. ou want me to eat? Didn't I state i will only eat if the conditions are peaceful? Sure she asked me to go back to eat later, but how did ahe do it? I shall quote, "Somebody who haven't finished his rice better come and finish it." She repeated it 2 times before she realise i wasn't going to touch it at all. Then I just went on to do my home work.

I did my work half way when i realised i was feeling lost. And i really needed a break. Something just went snapped. Who knows what was it? I just needed to sit down and think...no... i needed to sit down and not think at all.

Try this concept about me now. Everybody contain a cauldron of soup. When ever they do something good, like helping someone and controling his temper and encourging etc, a little of the soup is taken away from them. And when some one do something good to the person, like getting encouraged and getting helped etc, a little soup is added to the cauldron. I can only say this now. It's that i have been giving out too much "soup" that even there is no "soup", I am still giving. This ended up with me giving away part of my "cauldron". I feel i am being drained faster than i can be refilled. I can't talk to anybody much about me, cause i know people usually want to talk more about them. I just seem to give way too much... Now i don't even feel like talking. There are too many thoughts flying through my head now. Talk about lost in thoughts. Not that i am saying you should stop encouring or helping ur friends or something. Its just the support she get for doing something right.

ARGH!!! I need to not think at all but i can't... I guess i can become the undisputed "depressed and confused" champion of the class. At least if you read this, you will know the reason why i will be acting wierd to you. I will probably ignore everybody now. Bad i know it is. But i ain't going to let you people end up like me. Dumb huh? Cause do you people know what is it like to be ignored by everyone? What do you people think i get at home? Bias treatment here i tell you. I am sick of my mom telling me to do not logical things like refusing to help people etc. I am sick of getting ignored like i am a idiot. I am sick of being treated like a idiot. I am sick of the criticisms. I just want to feel loved by my parents. All i wanted were some good friends i could talk to with no hesitation. All i want is to have peace everywhere. All I ever wanted was life to be more fair.

I am tired of life. But don't worry i will go commit suicide or something. At the most i will end up at the Institude of Mental Health one day. Will you people visit me? I doubt so. My mom will probably be so biass against me like she hass been against me going to poly(i haven't decided yet), noraml stream people and the gangter-like people in my school(Come on, some of them are quite nice...). Oh sure you can say you are not bias but your tone gives you away.

Man i feel exhausted even thought my bady can keep going on, my brain is officially fried. I can't think properly now. Need to destress, but can't. Why? Can i go for a walk now? no... Can i go paly basketball now? no... Can i skip tuition and take a break only for this week? no... I am also sick of the no answer. I am going crazy and my parents don't even know it. Even more disturbing is that i am going to ignore it.

I am going Crazy!!!! Somebody stop me!!!! I am going to go now. So till next time... so till next time... try not to end up as lost as me.

Assumingly I Am Assuming...

I hate to assume. It causes me a lot of trouble. Oh sure, it is the only way i can pass judgements on how one act by observing, but assume one is tha way is unfair, especially if that is a bad day for the person(assuming only). There it is again. You think(assume) that girl is nice to you because she likes you? No... she is only trying to get you away from her... Is that girl behaving strangely towards you? Dream on, no one in this world will actually like u for who you are now... (At least that's the case for me, i think, or assume...) "i assume that she likes you from teh way she behaves" has cause me so much embarressment i prefer to hide my head in the ground like an ostrich. So now if you keep asking me if i like someone, I shall quote Joel, " I will like a girl that will like me" or" I like nobody". Why am i typing this? Just needed to let out some steam. Sign all over the place has been confusing me. I just hope this post can help me sort thing out properly.

Hey, what do you people think about the new blog design? It seems okay over here. I am planning to desigh my own. It is going to take some time due to my hectic schedule in school, home and where ever on this earth.(somebody save me!!) But i got to work hard for the "o" levels coming up. ARGH!!! I am even feeling the stress now...

That all the time i have for today. See you people the next time!!! Till the nextt time you enter my blog, manage your time well and keep that smile on your face.

Lost in Transition? No...

Hey people! The confused guy is back!!!! (Come on, Clap!!!!)

Sorry, got carried away. Just didn't know how to start today's entry. Nathaniel just shut down his blog (again...). Reason? Because , to him, it just seems like the time for me to shut down his blog. Just guessing one of the reasons is that our maths teacher has been reading his blog from way back. And if she read his blog, that means she will reading this too... But nevermind, I don't think i am doing wrong, i hope...

Now for the reason for the title... which is that i am lost. Transition? I am lost in what i am to do next after schooling. My mom would like me to go to a JC, better still with scolarship (talk about high expectations...). My dad wants me to decide what i want to do next time (which is okay by be but i honestly do not know what is best for me...). I guess i still have a few months to look around.

Nat just said his blog is back, but i have to change my skin... What Kind Of Conditions Are That? Look like i am going to have to change it later.

Thats all i have for today, so till the next time u read this blog, keep smiling. If u don't, i will... i will... I can't kill u so i will... Nevermind. Just remember to smile or i will...

Wash Away The Pain...

Go on, keep on raining, i don't care...( actually i do as it disruptes my basketball playing sessions.)

It has been raining almost non-stop the past few days. Wanting to go out means getting wet. sure it stops once in a while, but those periods of no-rain only last around 4-6 hours++. And that is only an estiamte. It has given me another option to destress, which is walking in the rain. Who knew it could be so comforting sometime? And guess what, i actually had an umbrella with me, but chose not to use it. Guess i m getting slightly(which i also think is not just slightly) bonkers. A teacher offered to share umbrella and i refused. Guess that just improved my reputation of being bokers. Than what's the title for? Like i said, the rain is comforting. And i don't cry easily so don't mistaken me for crying in the rain to prevent anyone from seeing me from crying.

What am i going to type about now? Dunno... my little bro is finally getting the scolding he deserves... I am finally geting some peace and quiet at my side... I am not sure what i want to be when i grow up... I thinking of writing a poem for valentines day(serious? Not sure...)... And I want that promo card... And i m sort of the cash... Guess i have to wait for my edusave scolarship award money(shhhh...)...

I wish taht my life is more simple and more complicated at the same time... simple such that homework is not necessary, no exams etc... While complicated such that i am something like a superhero or some rich person etc... But i must say that my life is not so boring anyway, thanks to all those around me, inculding those irritating people, busybodies... you should get the drift...

There are many things that i regreat doing in my life. But it ain't worth revealing all here. i will probably be more critised than what i am now. Secrets are secrets. But a secret kept too long in the heart ain't healthy for anyone. Cause secrets kept too long are probably secrets not even worth keeping in the first place. Ponder on this point for a moment (Cause i am also pondering upon it...).

This is probably the most disorganised post ever. I am just typing my thoughts as i go along. Guess i have come to a dead end. So till the next time u read my muddled up thoughts, telling the truth hurts, but the truth is the truth, and keeping it as a lie will be more painful. Trust me on this. No money back gurantee thought...

Back To School With A... a... now how do i say it?

Back to school this week, but it won't ever be good life this year.(or at least until the end of it) "O" levels coming in a few months, teachers chasing for things, sometimes frighting you for it... (threaten with more homework, call parents etc...) But I am going to work hard this year and prove to that chinese teacher of mine i can pass the exm quite okay. Best if i get even better marks.

This year for me is what the people probably call the last lap in secondary school here. I will do my best and more to... to... to defeat Sammi and Kah Leong. Althought i am frighting my self my typing that... Cause Kah leong was top in the level, Sammi was 7th and i was 8th... I was like so close to beating her finally after 3 years, and *poof*, it's gone... man am i in for a heck load of work this year, hope i am prepared enough...

Now my tagboard has an "anonymous" person... guess like i am going to check my tag board's log to see if the ip address of that person matches any of anybody i know... and is it a good to thing to have an "anonymous" person in my tagboard? I hope it is... although I really want to know who it is... It will same me alot of time by reducing another "reasons of why i cannot sleep well" factor. Or will the truth actually increase it instead? Guess only time will tell...

Couldn't sleep well the past few nights. I had to wonder about the "reasons of why i cannot sleep well" until i fell asleep slowing. Wish it could be like a week(and only a week!) during the holidays which i could jsut plop onto the bed and instantly fall asleep. That was probably the one and only pleasing week in the holidays foe me... Other than that, school was probably better than staying at home... Just keep getting pushed around anyway... One day i will probably kill my brother for being an idiot as well as a dort.(oh sure both are the same, i am just emphasing my point.) Just please spare me the agony of talking to some one who refuses to listern to logic.
Not insulting him here, but he just refuses to give up on a point even if it is wrong. (which means he will get the worst type of treatment in my class :P)

That probably all i have for this week. Just shut up my brother with facts again. He is just like my mother. For references, read my previous entries. For those who know, you should get the drift. Need the privacy here. Can't help but keep changing screens when someone walk pass behind me. So till next time, listern to your mind, never the heart. I didn't listern to that advice and it got me into trouble. Don't make the same mistake as me, not listerning to a friend's advice. Or whould you like to learn it the hard way? I can't stop you...

Fuming? Who Knows?

Wish i was on my computer instead of my sis computer... irritating brother wondering in and out of the room is getting irritating... trying ou if wilkipedia will deter him, based on suggestion from somebody... If it works, thank god. But if it doesn't... best not to say...

Man, today the president of the student council..."scolded " me. Guess what? I just told him, which is the truth, is that i was pulled in last minute to help and why are you blaming me for what is not my fault and that of someone else? For the past few years, the IT department has never been approached by the other sections for help, or accepted any to my knowledge. But this time, guess we have to help you with the noticeboard? Okay, i help you, but you blame me for what wasn't planned properly? Iomly do what i am told to do as long as it doesn't clash with my values and interests. And it wasn't us that did the planning... guess who? Looking for someone to blame? Look around you. You could have got the people to start on it eariler. Why did you have to treat me like i was the cause of everything? At least i am better than Melvin... What did he do thruogh out the holidays while we were slogging our guts out? It actually seems that your relationship with him helped him through somehow... no offence but i am offended with what that seems to me as bias treatment...

Oh well, at least i am happy i didn't actually shout everything out in the previous paragraph. And If he actually read this post, i just feel that this is what i think and was only my opinion. If anyone is unhappy with what i said, that what's the tagboard is for.

Guess that's enough of my life for today. Still next time, never let anger get the best of you. Cause you will forever regreat it.