Dropped

Man... i think i dropped my mp3 player somewhere yesterday... And now it's gone... And i think i dropped my favorite guitar pick somewhere too... If you are wondering what i mean by dropped, it means lost. Looks like have to look out for another mp3 player... And if possible to find such a guitar pick again too...

First was me walking into things... Now it's me losing stuff... What could be next? Things dropping on me? Wait a minute... A shoe fell on me before... Ok, it should be something else happening... That's life right? Unexpected things happening when you less expect them to be happening... XD

Was at Sim Lim area (square, tower) today. Looking around at parts and IT products. Hoping that someone will buy something for me over there... *COUGH*MP3 Player*COUGH*

Wanted to get something Bugis today, but there was no more stock... Oh well, change of plans i guess, looks like resorting to back up plan for the deck building idea... =x

Time to tell my dad i lost the mp3 player... Oh well... Hopefully everything will work out. See yah.

Let's see if can spot match the people in the photos... =x

Here is the photo of some of us from the gathering last Saturday... Now look below for our primary school photo and try matching... =x

I wonder who has changed the most? XD

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SEMESTER

Just came back from a outing with primary school friends. It's been a while since i've actually had fun with them. Went to East Coast for cycling. First time ever cycled all the way next to the airport runway. Could see the airplanes take off and land from where we rested for a while. Dinner was at Fish and Co. Waiting for photos to be posted up... Note to self: Bring more cash along next time...

That all for now folks. Will be seeing NBA highlights for a while before sleeping. See yah.

Project Progress Report 1 =x

My blog will now become a part project progress report blog too. Just a way to record down things. Hopefully things will end up okay and not get too frustrating...

N-th time drafting sensor head... The n-th design for the head. Codename: Beetle head. =x


The draft that got approved, but needs minor modifications. Codename: Hammerhead. =x


Lucas doing some drawing work which i horrible at... Tomorrow going to start with the rough mechanical drawing.

Completed drawing, quite detailed, i like... =x

The drawing with sample that we came up with. Hopefully it will work when it's made...

Thats all for the project progress report for today. So far so good... Yeah... XD

Bounce it off

Any negative things thrown at me, bounce it off. Things said that don't have good intention, bounce it off. Just bounce it off.

Going to have an early night tonight. Had a tiring day today. Spent the whole day just designing one part... And probably the most important part anyway... Hopefully mapping the circuit on the board wouldn't be that hard... I kind of suck at circuit components...

Man... I think i over worked my legs again today... Can always tell from the aching heel... Going to have to see a doc about it next week when i got time. Hopefully the polyclinic won't be so crowded the day i go...

Finally getting my pay after 6 months... Was planning to go to the office next week to do something if it wasn't coming soon... But good for all of us anyway... Don't have to go over and *something* and i get my money too... =x

Ah... Better pack for tomorrow now so i can sleep already... See yah.

Me + Chair = PAIN

My previous post was addressing what was happening me, not talking about any people around me... But i guess the question is this: Do i trust the people around me at all? Yes, but not with everything. I don't do anything without reason. If i don't say anything, it's just because i can't find the reason to say it. If i don't show anything, it's just that there isn't a reason to. I'm not here to bother people with my problems. That's why a lot of my stuff are kept only on this blog and no where else.

Man... I have a strange habit of walking into things... In the past was a sign post... Yesterday was a chair... Now there's this giant bruise on my leg... Talk about learning what can distraction do first hand... =x

Oh well... 1 more week of school before i will be able to take some time off for myself, to see the doc and chase for my pay... Planning to pay the guy who own my friend and i out pay a visit after next week... Waiting 6 months for just a few hundred dollars is just too long...

Note to self... Start planning shopping list for class using class fund... Organize CG to treat Uncle Wee Liang and family to a meal... Find a way to get cheese tarts from Mei Hsien... Save money... Hmm... I wonder if i left anything out...

That's all for now. See yah next time.

Aura of being un-approachable

And so people say it because i've yet to let go. But what if i told you that i am letting go a little bit a day at a time? Me projecting such a aura is cause i'm just tired and that's the best way to not be disturbed. Don't rush me, the last time i rushed, i crashed and burned. Why do you want me to move on so fast anyway?

Hmm... If i really was unapproachable, i wouldn't even talk to anyone anymore. And i won't turn anyone who needs help away unless i really cannot help. Then what about my disappearance after eating lunch? I just need some alone time. It helps with the moving on process. Anymore mysterious things that i need to address? Or any weird habits you think i have? I wouldn't mind explaining if it's not too personal. Why am i look like i'm still in the same state i was a few months back? Someone told me recently that even though i may not seem to have progressed at all, i actually improved. Maybe cause some of you see me almost every other day, and the chang was kind of gradual.

Why am i not like what i was in year one? I've changed i guess. I can still be all hyper in class if i want to, but for every peak there will be a low, so there will be times when i will look very dead. I'm not as personal as i used to be? It works both ways don't you think so? It's like how if someone treats you nice, you tend to treat the person nice too. Just what i feel.

Bottom line is this: I'm already moving on. Don't rush me, don't push me to go any faster. Rushing through is not a very good solution, it tends to mess things up. And i'm very sure you people don't want me to have my rebellious streak against what you said.

I have a strange 3 steps of doing things, 1st feel what i have to do, 2nd think about the action/s and consequences, 3rd feel if it's the right thing to do, then do it. Process of heart, mind then heart again. Thinking if i should throw in another extra step of thinking things through again... But i guess it may be enough steps for a while. Cover sufficient things from what i see at the moment.

Ah... Gotta run, have to pack this laptop for tomorrow... See yah.

When i'm just another thing to be thrown away

Just a thought i had: Have we become so blinded by goals that we became monsters that have no regard for the feelings of others just so we can accomplish what we want? Becoming so ruthless and aggressive that we just run over people.

I wonder why did i peel off the layer of skin at my left fingertips... Now guitar playing is going to be painful for a while before it grows back again... T.T

I was the top scorer for bejeweled on FB for a while. Then Lucas started playing and i knew the record won't stand. He has that potential for gaming that i also see in my brother... that ability to get the high score. Oh well, i just play for fun anyway. High score also doesn't mean much to me at the moment.

Man...Need to catch up on sleep... Wonder when will i be able to... Probably have to wait till the "true" holidays for me...

Hmm... Need to find time off to see a doc or somthing... Probably during the holidays too. Ah... looks like probably another busy holidays... Doctors to see... People to chase to get pay... Meet up with friends FINALLY for fun... Long way to go... And probably need to head back to school for project too... ARGH...

See yah nest time, if i'm around next time.

Anybody know of any doctor i can see to consult about my leg condition? Pain kind of bugging me when ever i move around too much...

Ok, stupid me when to shoot more baskets today. Body still holding up... I think...

After analyzing my mental state, i realised that i'm 61% sane, 23% unstable, 28% insane. Did i count wrongly? No... It's my insane part taking over. The insane part is needed to do things that people usually won't do but still has to be done anyway... XD

Stupid giant ulcer in my mouth... The result of me biting the same spot 3 times last Sunday during lunch... Everything i eat is painful... Come on... I've still got Sri Lankan curry to eat tomorrow... I wonder if the painkillers i have will help... =x

I'm going to sit down, keep quiet and see what is going to happen. Taking alot just to hold back... No more planned moves besides the one to just hold back. Think it's easy? No... Cause no one else is actually holding back at all, and all i can do is just see and control yourself from doing anything stupid.

Oh well... There goes my holidays... Have yet to meet up with Minda for a session of pool... From last holidays till now... Hopefully will eb abel to dig out some time during those 3 weeks off...

Stupid person says that the pay not ready yet... And that the company will be getting some $$ this month, and since my friend and i were one of the earlier few, we should be getting paid soon. Better be, cause it has been about 6 months already... 6 WHOLE MONTHS... Damn... Maybe i ought to be like some that went to the company and make some trouble noise...

ARGH... I need the money soon... Hopefully it comes before my break... Using some hard earned money can help with destressing alittle... I hope...

Oh well... Enough ramblings for a day. See yah.

Go ahead and do what you want, cause i may not do anything about it at all until i see anything get out of hand. That's what i always do anyway right? Appear only when things fly out of hand.

Why do i feel that some people keep trying to imitate how i do things? You think it can help impress someone? Go ahead and to learn my style of doing things, but all it will be is an imitation. And when you run out of things to imitate, what happens?

I'm still a human being with stupid feelings

Yup, i'm impulsive. Went to the market behind school for lunch just because i felt like it. I ought to learn more self control, i can bring myself to do it.

I don't like people that say something or tell others to do something yet don't apply it for themselves. Maybe that's why sometimes i don't like what i'm doing... What's the use of telling someone to do something when you yourself didn't do it? It's just irony in my eyes. Who are you to judge someone for what they do when you yourself didn't judge what you did? Don't be a hypocrite.

There will this aspect in my life that i will be applying the concept of self control in, or am already applying it in. I chose a path walked least. Tried another way this Tuesday but didn't work out, and the best option anyway was this path.

I see something happening, and it just seems like it happened before, deja vu, just that it's happening between people. And the thing is? I expect the results to be the same as before, cause the underlining problem was never resolved in the first place. I'm staying out of it though. It's not i don't want to change the situation, but that i won't be very effective at the moement. My personal biasness would probably get in the way, and self control would have to be earned backed again.

Shot some baskets yesterday during lunch even though i wasn't meant ot play basketball for a while. Was careful bout my legs though, relied mainly on my arms. I guess it didn't help much, left leg aching again... Ok... Back to self imposed lockdown...

Those high frequency noises in class are driving me crazy... And it somehows stirs up my chest pains... Relying on painkiller level 1: lotion to make it through class. Hopefully i don't have to activate all 3 levels any time soon...

Sometimes people forget that i'm still human and suffer like a human and do crazy things like any other human that do crazy things. Maybe the crazy thigns are more frequent but someone has to help average out the rate of crazy things being done right?

Have you been blinded, such that you don't see what's happening around you? Look and observe carefully, and maybe you will notice something strage or out of place or happening, then maybe will you realise that there are so many things you have yet to learn about those around you.

There are 3 ways i access people: Talking, body actions and eye contact. When i access, you won't even know it. But you know what? You also won't know when i'm not analyzing what you are thinking about. Frightening? What is there to be scared of if there's nothing to hide anyway? That's what i think. But i'm probably too tired now a dasy to observe anyoen anyway...

I guess i better get going... Have yet to prepare for tomorrow... See yah.

Re-disovering Self Worth and Purpose

The worst place to be when your leg is still recovering? On a bus during peak hour. Almost twisted my left leg this time... Man... Why can't people just move to the end of the bus? Can't you see people trying to squeezing at the front door? It's not like the people won't allow you get off the bus later... Especially when your stop is like the school where majority of the people are getting off the bus...

Anyway, looks like high frequency sounds kind of drives my body crazy some way or another. Looks like may either have to stock up on panadol for class or hope that my body will adapt to it somehow...

I wonder when will this chest pain stop bothering me... Can't be living off painkillers forever... Today was horrible.. Had to leave class for a while just to catch my breath... Was wondering where it could have ran to anyway...

I have succumb to the evil fun that is Facebook today. What scares me is that i adapting to it quite fast... Was part of me already Facebook person?? Or am i just frightening myself? @.@

Oh well... Will be resting after this conversation with Ben... See yah.

Self Declared Lockdown

I got threatened to join Facebook today... "Better join or we create account for you!!" T.T

Now... Thinking if i should listen to my rebellious side to refuse to join Facebook and risk having an account not created by me or join in the evil fun and at least still have control over what others see about me online... Argh... Decisions... Why Facebook... Hopefully mom number 2 won't create one before i decide... T.T

Looks like my body will be on lockdown for the next 6 weeks... Uncle WeeLiang says its either 6 weeks of no playing or a lifetime of no playing due to injury... Oh well... At least i will know that by the end of the holidays i should be able to play basketball again...

The problem every kid have during holidays is cash flow problems... I wonder when will i be able to solve this problem... Man... It has been about 6 weeks since i last did that job and i've yet ot get my pay... Will continue "harressing" that person for my cash tomorrow...

Another 3 weeks of holiday classes before 3 weeks of freedom... Let the countdown continue...

Oh well... I guess that's all for now... Shall continue thinking about Facebook... See yah...

Drawing lines in the sand

First was the left heel, now the right knee... I think i twisted it yesterday while playing basketball... ARGH... Need to find time to visit the Chinese physician sinseh again... Wonder when will i have time to go down with classes everyday... Bring on the pain again...

Class starting... See yah...

If i stop doing everything everytime i'm in pain, nothing i do will ever be complete

Schooling during holidays sucks... Especially when friends are out enjoying themselves while i'm slogging it out in school... Wonder if i will have the energy to join them later... Ah...

Waiting for teacher to settle problem with other's programming codes... Getting very boring... And the pain in my leg is killing me... Painful just walking around... Ironically i was running around yesterday... Oh well...

Come on... If only the classes would end faster...

Thanks guys for the great day yesterday. Ming Ci, Reuel, Ben and XiaoXi. And thanks to those who helped with our worship too. Louisa, Uncle Henry and anybody i left out. =x

Worship felt i was the weakest link, but it ended up okay i think. Hopefully. Have to keep work on my guitar skills. Will get better in time, i think.

Had a great lunch yesterday. Nepalese again, but it was the fellowship that we had that was fun. Talked about guys, girls, shopping, games, everything and nothing. Okay, maybe i didn't share alot... Anyway, only Ming Ci survived without a scratch against XiaoXi. I'm still wondering how she managed to catch me off guard...

Went to Bugis with Ben and XiaoXi after that. Was raining heavily when we got there. XX wanted to go to the library to study and Ben decided to go there too, so i tagged along. XX guided us 1 whole round about Bugis trying to find a sheltered way to the library. In the end, lend her my umbrella while me and Ben went walking around Bugis just test XX's theory of Window Shopping. Results? Er... Didn't record down.

Originally was supposed to have dance session yesterday, but it got canceled cause Pastor Christina found it a bit too rush for us. Oh well, till next event then.

I guess that's all for yesterday. Better get back to paying attention in class. See yah

I've wonder why does all the stupid stuff happens to my life. Why me? Why do i have to go through all this stupid situations? I'm pissed with life. Pissed why i still feel like crap. Pissed why things are never so simple anymore. Pissed that no one try putting themselves in my shoes and see what the hell it's like to face so many crap all at once. All the crazy feelings all at once. And when i can only find peace at church and the basketball court, i'm might as well not exist outside those places sometimes.

Will i ever be truely ok? That a question which answer i may never know.

I don't know what i should do. I see him getting closer to you, but it still doesn't feel right to me... I see opportunity but i don't know if it's time for me to do something. My heart tells me to do something but i don't want to be reckless. I want to beat people up but i know i shouldn't. I want to be there but i don't know if i should. I want to up the standard but am scared of the consequences. I want to be selfless but i still want people to be sensitive to what i feel.

I'm afraid of what i can do/will do/could do and what will happen because of them. Too many possibilities of what can happen. I'll never know unless i try but the consequences seems too much sometimes.

Think about your actions people. When you think it only affects you and someone else, think again. Everybody around will be affected. Why don't i say much about it? Cause i gave up sharing my feelings to people who don't really bother about it. Think about that.

See yah.