Alone I Guess...

Hey people-who-are-still-reading-blogs-during-study-break, how have you been?? There doesn't seem to be much people here nowadays as the tagboard doesn't have anybody tagging... Man, look like my blog's rating has just went down...

I am getting tired of studying... Where is everyone?? Are you people studying too? I'm sure you are... I am taking such a long time just to type one entry now, usually getting distracted by alot of other things... And the same can be said about my studies... Losing steam... Come on, i am human too...

ARGH!!! I AM GOING CRAZY!!! Anybody rejoicing over this?? Man, just kill me and get this over with... My siblings have finished their exams and are playing away everyday in front of me... Just help me pull that trigger...

Hey, look like now you have proof that i am insane. I am just talking about anything that is coming to my mind now...

Man, this ulcer hurts... And my mom forgot to help me fidn the mouth wash to treat it... Using salt is damn painful, but looks like it is the only other option then... T.T

ARGH!!! I am dreaming about what to do after the 'O' levels... Someone please pull me back down to earth... I am losing it over nothing already...

Ok... That should be enough random-ness for today... So let's celebrate the ending of the fow of crap...

Will you ever look at me the way I look at you??

The Reason.

Everything happens for a reason. The only thing is how we look at it, or we just do not know the reason. This problem may occur because of this "stupid" reason to you. But to another person, this reason may be valid. Many problems occur because we don't find the other person's reason isn't valid enough for us, i guess. Accepting people's reason is not easy if it is totally different from our own values. But it is not impossible. That's why i choose to sit on the fence most of the time. It gives me a clearer view on things even thought my ass hurts after staying there for a long time... XD

Oh well... I figured out the reason to why i will never have super powers... Cause if i had any, i would have ended up killing everyone accidentally and thus go crazy with guilt and thus became insane and end up a super villian. Ok... That was a bit random... But thats the truth. SO you people better be happy that i don't have any super powers. XD

Wow... I just realised my post is both serious and non-serious at the same time. What is this called?? Erm... Just typing what comes to my mind?? Losing my mind?? Or i just seriously can't stay serious?? Ok... I shall stop being lame...

I am tired. Tired of waiting. After the 'O' Levels i am planning to take up a new hobby. What hobby?? Gundam modelling. It is not really an easy thing if you actually took time to find out all the equipment needed. But now, studies come first. But not before God and life and health that is.

Nat says i haven't been updating enough. Is that true?? Not that i really care as now i am studying, but maybe this place collect dust very fast. But come on, look at Sammi's blog, updated only once in a "Whatever-colour-you-want" moon. So just tell me your opinions, ok?

That's enough for today. Some people around me ain't happy for reasons of their own, and i hope things get better for them. Cause like i said before, only i am allowed to be depressed. Yah, i know i am selfish, so much taht i can help the fish monger. But i prefer that i am the depressed one cause i feel i can hide it quite well. You can share your problems with me. It will lessen your burden. But i will retract the previous statement if my phone bill starts to go up obscene-ly. Ok, you can stay deopressed, but do not dwell in it for too long. Learn from me that it is never a good thing.

Alright, i better end here before this becomes the "Neverending" post. Get it?? The Neverending Story? The Neverending Post? Ok... Nevermind... See yah!

All i am is a phone all away, 16 hours a day, seven days a week. Public holidays non-inclusive.

GO AND STUDY!!!

Yes, if you have time to read this you should be studying, so... GET BACK TO YOUR BOOKS!!! XD

Ok, enough of the study crap... I have studied both physics and chemistry... Now to move on to other subjects... Geography... Social studies... Both maths... Thats all right?? Or did i forget something?? Hope i didn't...

Was out studying with Minda and Xiaoping yesterday... Was struggling to not get distracted by Minda's lameness so i could study, but i gave up in the end and decided to grab a bite instead... And now my pic is posted BIG BIG on his blog... T.T

ARGH... Tired after studying Chemistry... Exhausted... Want to rest and also want to play now... SAVE ME... ARGH... All the random-ness is coming out... Ha... But be teh fatigue getting to me...

Enough for now... AND YOU BETTER GET BACK TO STUDYING!! See yah!

Anotehr Personality Quiz...

Ok... It seems more accurate then the previous one, but you have to try it for yourself. Heere you go... http://quizilla.com/users/katerinad18/quizzes/The%20Most%20Accurate%2C%20In-Depth%2C%20Personality%20Analysis%20Test%20Ever%20Created%20on%20Quizilla/

My result?? Here you go...

You are focused on making the world a better place for people. Your primary goal is to find out your meaning in life. What is your purpose? How can you best serve humanity in your life?
You are an idealist and a perfectionist, who drives yourself hard in your quest for achieving the goals you have identified for yourself.
You are highly intuitive about people. You rely heavily on your intuition to guide you, and use your discoveries to constantly search for value in life. You are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through your value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help you define or refine your own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - you are driven to help people and make the world a better place.
Generally thoughtful and considerate, you are a good listener and put people at ease. Although you may be reserved in expressing emotion, you have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making you a valued friend and confidante. You can be quite warm with people that you know well.
You do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If you must face it, you will always approach it from the perspective of your feelings and emotions. In conflict situations, You place little importance on who is right and who is wrong, instead focusing on the way that the conflict makes you feel, and indeed you don't really care whether or not you're right.
You don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes you appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, you make a very good mediator, and you are good at solving other people's conflicts, because you intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.
You are flexible and laid-back, until one of your values is violated. In the face of your value system being threatened, you can become an aggressive defender, fighting passionately for your cause.
When you have adopted a project or job which you're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for you. Although you are not a detail-oriented individual, you will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for your "cause".
When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, you are completely unaware of such things. You might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of your project booklet.
You do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. You focus on your feelings and it is difficult for you to deal with impersonal judgment. You don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes you naturally ineffective at using it. You try to avoid impersonal analysis, although you may have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical.
Under stress, it's not uncommon for you to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.
You may have problems working on a project in a group, because your standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, you may have a "control" problem. You need to work on balancing your high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, you will never be happy with yourself, and you may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with your life.
You are a talented writers. You may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing yourself verbally, but you have a wonderful ability to define and express what you're feeling on paper.
Your personality type appears frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. You are at your best in situations where you're working towards the public good, and in which you don't need to use hard logic.
You function well i the world and can accomplish great and wonderful things, which you will rarely give yourself proper credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been people like yourself.

Hah... Very long right?? Take your time to read... Cause i also got lost some where a few times. XD

My dad just got back from the hospital again... This time he was there cause a machine blew up in his face. Yes, BLEW UP, and in the FACE too... Now i have to help him apply his eye drop every hour... Look like i won't just be studying this study break... I have to take care of my siblings and dad too... Talk about responsibilities... Hah.

Enough for today. Have fun still next time. See yah around.

Oh, I am copying you Nat?? I am so sorry... XP

Long Post Coming Up Some Other Time...

Was actually planning to blog about missing school and people and things, but i guess i will leave it for some other time when i have enough time to finish everything i have to say in one go. But it will be going out to everybody, so watch out for it. (:

School ends finally... 10 days to physics practical... Studying started... Life goes on... Something ahppened to my dad's computer... I feel tired... I want to sleep more... I need new blogskin... I want that new gundam model... I want to start new hobby... Man, talk about random huh?? Oh well, i am making this post short as i have to go do some housework anyway...

Now back after my houswork... Man... was it hazy... I took a few photos of how it looked like but i can't find the wire... Man... But PSI level of 130 was already quite high, and when i took pics in the direction of Minda's house, most of it was just haze. That's how bad it was.

I set a record for myself today. I played computer for only around 10 minutes!! Yeah. Tomorrow will probably be only 5 minutes, but might as well not play right?? STUDY ALL THE WAY!!! XD

Man, you people should have seen how Yong Kang was trying to convince me to go play LAN with him yesterday. HE wanted us to go play this morning. He was so desperate. Begged me to go. When that didn't work he tried another method but it was a guranteed failure. Why? Cause I wanted to study. Yes, study. Better start now then later right?? And i will tell you how desperate he was... He told me this, "I asking Sam leh... If she go you can go wit her wat..." Please... When had this method ever worked on me?? Find your own minion that you can influence... XP

Oh well... It has been confirmed that i will be flying off on the 17thor 18th of December for my mission trip. Will only be back on the 27th. So this means i may not be replying calls or messages for that period of time. Will anybody miss me?? It will also be my first time on an aeroplane, so i am damn nervous... But the worst thing is: I won't be celebrating Christmas in Singapore. But the good thing is: I won't be celebrating Chrstmas in Singapore. Why?? Obvious not celebrating in here with friends and family is no fun... But the good thing is that i don't have to give out presents!!! But must remember my presents hor... Keep them for me until i come back, cause i still want them. At the most i bring back some souvenirs for you people, ok?? See if i save up enough $$ first... XP

Things change very fast in lifes sometimes. Friends to foes, love to hate. Conflict cannot be avoided i guess... But why let what has already passed affect the present and future?? So what if you are scarred? So what if it is awkward? If you let it affect you, you are technically letting yourself be stuck at a road-block at a certain part of your life. Then progresswill be made. Get over it. It never will be the same again, but isn't that an excuse to avoid the problem?? ow much worst can it get if you say it is so bad already?? Look like i am scolding myself over here too... But i am slowly trying to get over this road-block. What about you?

ARGH... Enough of this nonsense for a day... See yah around, yah?

Live life with no regrets. It's too short for regrets. And keep smiling. Cause you never know when that smile is needed to pick up another's day.

Open??

Yah, today i went to the NYJC open house. Walk until leg very tired... Saw Shawn Wee and Carrie Cheong from 9.87FM and many old school mates, like my seniors and ex-classmates. Too bad i didn't have the time to catch up with any of them. Tomorrow will be going to SAJC open house too after i re-new my passport... Passport expired 2 years ago... Now have to re-new for my end of teh year mission trip to Thailand... Hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow... Now emo time...

Man... You ignored me... But you won't even read this blog and i know it... Ok, maybe you do but i will never know... Guess you just didn't want to see me or hear from me right?? If you want that i am fine with that... I have let go of the past... What about you?? Look like i am just an obstacle in the way then... Maybe i am thinking too much... But who knows what is the truth?? Ok then, you don't want a birthday present no matter how much i insist on giving... And guess sawing you again today i felt you were probably just trying to get away from me... I shall make that job easier for you then... I will stay away from you.... The only time you will hear from me will be on msn and sms then... Or should i reduce it to no communication at all? Then there will be totally no problem as there is nothing to talk about right?? Oh well... What's the use of letting it out when she will never know?? Waste of effort...

Told yah SweeHao!! Everybodies' blog got emo post one. XD That should be enough for today... See yah people next time.

Cry I won't. Regret I won't. They never change things for the better, only make them worst.

Hazy Day...

Lousy haze... make me feel the strain in my chest... The air smells so bad... worst still is that my room dont have air-con... argh... when will this haze go away??

Just came back from Minda's house. Was there to celebrate mid autumn festival (or something like that...). Had fun there... Got food to eat... got people to be with... But something seems missing... I will figure out what is that when i have time... But yeah... it was fun, and filling, too!! XD

Ha... Feeling tired now so shall wrap things up here... A more serious post maybe next time... See yah!!

I am nothing more than a friend. May it stay that way...

Quiz again...

Everybody is doing it and i was bored so i decided to do it...

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

Erm... ok...

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Bull-shit?

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Only time will tell...

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Bull-shit again?

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

Erm... Not sure bout this...

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

Okie...

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

Ok... ok...

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Hmm... i think so...

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Hah... Heart rather than head?? Most of the time it is solved with the head...

Man... The quiz can be a bit crap at times... Some of it is pure nonsense i feel... but this kind of things can never be 100% accurate right?? Oh well...

I don't understand why I feel sad, everytime I see you out with someone new...

Stupid Haze...

Back again!! This time to complain about the haze!! It was damn bad today. All i have to do is take a look out the window and a layer of haze can be seen right in front of me. It is gets any worst, i probably won't be allowed out the house. The worst thing?? I am feeling more tired, probably due to the haze aggravating my condition... I was breathless after my walk back home, when usually i will feel energetic when i get home.

When i reached home, i started up my computer and logged into my account. Then my anti-virus crashed on me... I wanted to continue downloading my gundam episode... Then this happens... Spent around 1-2 hours solving the problem... Then i have to wait for the episode to download for another 1-2 hours... ARGH!!! But the wait was worth it at least... That episode was beautiful... If you understand it that is... XD

I won't talk bout my results here... scared people say things bout me... But all i am going to say is, " I WILL GET MY A1 FOR PHYSICS BACK!!" And i have to work on my humans too... Ah... Time to start studying at full steam...

I am goin to share a song again. Here you go...

Can't Let Go - Landon Pigg

Well you're the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didn't last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldn't understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didn't die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you can't lose what you never had
I don't understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past

How are you going to interpret how i am related to this song is up to you. That should be enough emo-ness for a day.

That's all for today. See yah next time!