Posted up the previous post while i was still groggy from something... Either the throat infection was taking energy from my body to recover or the meds were causing it... Finally was awake enough to think about it yesterday. If ever such a girl stepped into my life, did i notice? Or was i looking somewhere else then?

I believe i've met a girl like that once. But i've lost her. I was inexperienced. I was stupid. Didn't knew what i had still it's gone. One doesn't really get much second chances in life. Can't blame her for everything that happened.

Am i a good guy? Quite far from it. There's still so much i don't know, so much i wish i knew how respond to, how to take care of. I shouldn't be prove that good guys exist, but that it's possible to become one. Sorry Jon that i'm not really that good guy you think i am. I'm just another normal guy trying to find his place in the world, and trying to do it without hurting anyone along the way. If it's just me getting hurt, it's fine thought, better only 1 person hurt then more than 1 feeling the pain.

Ah... Just reflections at the moment.

How to define a good guy or gal? Not really sure i guess. Just someone who genuinely want what's the best for everyone? Someone who works for the people? Someone who does what everyone wants? Someone who meets expectations? Someone who doesn't screw up other people's life?

So many questions, so little answers. And here i m, still searching for the answers.