Guess i just don't know what choice to make in life now. D-day is just 4 days away. 4 days of toment. 4 days of pressure. 4 days of choices. Or maybe just 4 days to make everything right again...
Having been in the the current class in JC, I realised so many of us actually fear gettin our results, with many of us talking about seeing our faces in the obitary next week... And we also came up with many ways of how to die... Stealing potassium or rubidium from the chem lab and eatting it... Teh traditional jumping... You get the drift... I wonder who actually reads this anyway? The emo thoughts of a ordinary person? Guess all of us are just looking for soemone to open up to. I guess many of you are lucky to have someone... Guess i can only play the role of the listener at the moment... Who will be willing to listen to all my crap anyway?? No one right?? Makes me wonder what allows me to be willing to actually listen to people problems... What actually makes me tick so differently? Crap...
I am curretnly wondering if the JC path is the right route for me... Am i more suitable for the poly way of life?? Wonder if my mom is willing to accept the fact that i no matter where i end up, i will be going home later. She will have to anyway, cause if she don't... I guess there will be a scene at home again...
V-day's coming up soon too. One of my classmates was making a fuss over spending it alone. I guess i understand it, but i guess staying single is best for me at the moment... Especially with J is currently at the same JC. I guess i feel i am missing soemthing everytime a couple around my age walks pass... I try to cheer myself up that at least i am saving more $$ then them, but i will always feel left out some how... Not sure why though...
Now CCA choice is also affecting me... My mom is not happy with me joining Dragon Boat. (She never seems to be happy with anything anyway...) And guess becasue i am also soft-hearted so i am considering Petanque. Why? From what i saw of the last Petanque training last Wednesday, it seemed like i am the only one who actually took it seriously... And it has downgraded from a CCA to a interest group, meaning that it doesn't receive funding from the school anymore... And it feels liek if i don't join them, i may be letting them down and let this sport die in the school... Shit... And maybe there was another reason i joined Dragon Boat... I heard that J was interested to join it a week before CCA started...
Crap... Look like i need some major de-stressing... WHERE IS MY BASKETBALL?!?!? Man... Look like i need to ask my mom where did she dump it... I hope there is not need for an air-pump... Cause i currently don't have one... And please don't tell me my mom threw it away...
Guess i blew it now... No more places to run... No more places to hide... Looks like i have to face it now...
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