Tuesday, April 28, 2009

When No One Notices Me

Is when a part not meant to be seen of me appears. (:

I should be doing my assignment now, but just felt like blog before i can get my mood to do something.

It seems like i'm getting quite good at hiding the emo part of me in happiness. Yeah. Was kind of successful during the first week already since no one noticed anything weird. Probably all the hyper-ness and workload keeping me from becoming "crazy-emo-Kelvin". Not that i'm not enjoying being happy, just don't expect me to maintain it for long i guess. There will probably be days when i'm so tired i just become silent.

Ah... Stupid assignment... 1000 to 1500 words... Looks like i should just make myself a cup of tea tonight... Hopefully the caffine will carry me through...

Met Kaiyuan on the train back home last Sunday. For some reason she asked why not get into an r/s. I think i said that it's just not worth it now. Probably should have said there is a time for everything, too early and everything may end up screwed up instead. Then she asked about peer pressure, with so many people around, how to resist? Kind of said that after certain life experiences, it kind of changes your outlook on life and the things in it. Peer pressure is the lousiest reason one can give for getting into an r/s. What's the point of the r/s then? To just look cool? Or is it for something more?

I look at my maturity level, and i realise i'm still pretty immature. I look at my attitude, still too hack-care. I look at my reactions, and realise i'm still kind of rebellious. I look at my treatment of others, and realise i still don't treat people as nicely as they meant to be treated. I look at my actions, and realise they are still stupid. I look at my time, and realise the limited time i have, especially to do homework i'm supposed to be doing... =x

Looks like another habit to improve on: Stop nagging... Must be from all the constant exposure to my mom... Can't help it when i see and hear her everyday i guess. Need to get it under control...

Everyday, the pain gets lesser. Hopefully by the end of the year, it wouldn't bother me as much as it did months back. And it's not my physical pain i'm talking about.

I'm the ultimate spectator yeah? XD

Self imposed body lockdown is irritating... Can't do sports properly in fear of injury again... Going to start with a bit next week if possible. Should take some time off to sign up for gym membership too i guess.

Better go make myself a hot drink... Expecting a late night tonight...

Now to wait for it to cool down before i dare to drink it... Don't want to burn my tongue... =x

It seems like when stuff happens nowadays, i'm not surprised. Some stuffs can just be seen and known. I just don't care that much about suff happening now anyways. Too tired/busy/lazy/crazy to care. Crazy just thrown in for fun. XD

Hmm... Wonder how i'm supposed to survive tomorrow... Long day as Crusade will be having event after school. But since God has made a way for me to survive so far into the starting of school, he sure will help me survive tomorrow too!! =x

Now i'm wondering if i'm pushing my body too far... School work + FYP + Jacket design + class rep duties + Campus Crusade + whatever is coming up next. Woah... 5 things to settle with mroe to come... Life just looked a lot more dimmer... Until i on the lights that is. XD

I guess that's enough random-ness for today. Hopefully it will be able to carry me through tomorrow. See yah.

I guess it's fine with me as long as she's happy. Wasn't that the original intention?

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