So what am i to you?

And here i m, wondering where do i stand in your life. Am i just a passing wind? A ripple in the pond? A sandcastle by the sea, or a palace at the peak? A firebug glimmering, or the sun shining brightly and strong?

There's a reason i don't feel like going for the bbq. Now may have a reason to reconsider going, but my main reason on why i don't want to go is still there. In the end it's still my choice. Not everyone can keep absorbing the hurt and still stay okay all the time.

Sometimes, i don't know what to say anymore. Sometimes, i don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes, i don't know where i'm heading anymore. Sometimes, i wonder why am i even moving forward for anymore. Sometimes, i feel no one actually cares about how i feel anymore. Sometimes, i just think i should jsut disappear. Sometimes, i just want to tell you off for what you have done/ are doing. Sometimes, i think there are no more sensitive people in the world anymore. Sometimes, i think i shouldn't even be here in the first place. Sometimes i don't know what i'm even talking about anymore.

I tried crying myself to sleep yesterday night. Couldn't. Could only sleep after stopping.