Play, Watch, Eat, Sleep, Play, Watch, Eat, Sleep...

Man... got to get myself to start doing my holiday homework sometime soon. But i have been playing, watching, eating and sleeping. Playing Dota with my sis and her friends. And yes, that is my sis and her MALE friends. Watching anime, Zoids Genesis in particular. IT ROXS!!! Eating? Everybody eats. Sleep? Never will be able to sleep beyond 8:30am. Why? Morning sun shining in my face. Another reason why i can't get myself to do my work? TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! I am going to enjoy it. Don't spoil it please.

Hey people! Another suitable present you can get me is tha u download all the recent episodes of Zoids Genesis for me. I can't do it as my dad doesn't allow any of us in teh family to use bit torrent. Come on... jsut do it for me. It is free too!! Save alot of $$ leh... hehehe... It will save me the trouble of always searching for it at youtube.

Thats all for now. Tomorrow i will put up the poem for my birthday. It is meant to be funny so try not take it too seriously. And anyone who can join me tomorrow to watch a movie meet at 11am at serangoon mrt station. SEE YAH PEOPLE AROUND!!!

ARGH!!!

Want to scream. Shout out loud. Today was chinese 'O' levels paper 1 and 2. I've got a feeling i flunk my paper 2 close passage... ARGH!!! Did that passage before and i cannot remember answer... ARGH!!! Going to play CS? Maybe just to release all the "ARGH!!!"s, i will.

Feeling down? Of course!!! Want to kill somebody but you know you can't? How you know? Want to talk to someone? Yeah... And this has to happen before my birthday... ARGH!!! No use looming over it, people say. But peopel aren't the ones feeling this feeling. Try this: i suck at chinese and had been studying like crap the pass few days and you feel i feel i messed up on the actual day. ARGH!!! Trash CS... I am going to practise Dota with AIs... That sounds better...

I have prepared a poem for my birthday. It is funy but i can't seem to laugh to it now. It will be published on my birthday. When is it? Find out yourself. I didbn't have a profile link at the side for nothing. If it is not there, too bad for you(for not being able to find out) and me (for not being able to get a present from you.).

Thats should be enough rants for today. See yah peopel around!!

Chilling... Not...

Study chinese for the whole week... just for the D-day tomorrow. Will i be able to sleep tonight? I don't think so. Like on friday night i stayed up till 12 for no reason. Watched TV until 12 before going to bed. And i didn't sleep straight away. I never really do.

My spectacles nose-bit broke off today. My dad just glued it back. And now is is stuck such that it can't wriggle about. Stiff man... Hope this doesn't affect me tomorrow.

All the best to those doing their 'O' Levels tomorrow. I don't believe in luck so don't ask me to say good luck. I believe in skill and a little in destiny, that is if you are meant to pass you will. See you people around!!

Opps... For Nothing.

My dad is back from the hospital. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong with him.

Chinese "O" Levels are only a few days away. Feeling the stree already... At least right afetr it is my birthday. Something to look forward to. Today's chinese intensive wasn't so intensive. Or is it becasue i have gotten used to the pace? Only time will tell...

That's all for today folks. See yah around!!

Posting to pass the time

Back here again. My dad has just been hospitalised for chest pains. different from mine because his is probably heart problem. So he got to spend the night under observation. Damn boring one unless you manage to sleep through. Trust me. I know what it is like, cause it happened to me before.

3rd day of chinese intensive. Had a cold through out the whole day. Going to get an early night tonight. Need the rest. Almost slept in class today, but i didn't. But couldn't really concentrate in class anyway...

That's probably all for today. See you people around. I wonder if anyone special is reading my blog now...

Just For You People

Leaving

I'm leaving Now
Don't even try to stop me
I'm leaving here
Leaving the past all behind me
I just can't take it anymore
The pain, the hurt
The words, the guilt
I'm saying bye to all
To all who ever known me

This is for all who knew me
I'm sorry for giving up so easily
But this ain't the place for me
And I need to be free
Os I'm leaving, So long
It's been nice knowing you all

Got the idea from listening to a song in my fathers car when words "pop"ed into my head that went with the music. Reached school and wrote it down. HAH. Talk about sudden inspiration. That's all for today. See yah around.

Welcome To My Life

The extra responsibility given to me meant I will have to face many challenges. For doing what is right, I get despised. Guess that’s what life gives you in the end.

I don’t mind being hated for doing something right. It is better than being liked for doing something wrong.

Realised I never mentioned any names of the involved people in my entries yet? I choose not to judge people, no matter how much I want to. So much easier it is to just say so-and-so is such a person. But no. This is a problem I guess we have to settle ourselves.

See this smile on my face? It is just an image. Hear the laughter? It is just a sound.

Those who I thought understood me didn’t. Only a few stayed by my side. Guess only in this kind of situations do one finds out who the true friends are.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Integrity. Honesty. Values drilled into me since I was young. Never knew it why at first. Looking back, It shaped me who I am. Good or bad, your point of view. I can’t change that. Conscience is something I have plenty of. It is what usually brings me to think about suicide. Ever heard of a conscience killing? Mine does. If I don’t do something when I can’t, the guilt will be there.

What is right? What is wrong? All I know now is to do what seems right to me at the moment.

What do you believe in? That the wrong should be punished? The righteous rewarded? My stand has been clear from the start. And you don’t have to be with me. I try to do what best for the moment. So what will you do in my position? If I was given another chance to prevent all this from happening, I will still do the same.

For my cause, you can say I am also willing to die for it.

Life will never be fair, from where I am standing. Things are never that simple. No matter how much I want things to work out, it never does. Easy for all to blame me, but what about yourselves? Guess it is human nature to look for someone to blame and not look at what we ourselves have done.

It never rains but it pours.

The challenge is to live life to the fullest. The challengers: us. We have different definitions for “living life to the fullest”. The conflict of ideas causes the fights out there. Lucky if you can find someone who ideas are the same as yours. Cause unlike me, I stand alone most of the time.

This is my responsibility. Mine alone to bear and suffer.

When I decided to continue being a councillor in sec2, I wasn’t thinking about myself. I was thinking if I could make a difference in the school. In the life of people. Will I be living life to the fullest. Will I be letting anyone down. Now look the mess I got caught up in. Is it worth it? I don’t know. I will never know until it is over.

With great power comes great responsibility. And with responsibility comes burdens one has to face.

I got early retirement from my CCA because of my health. Guess early retirement form the council no different? Only thing I will be left out of are the retirement gifts? Maybe I should also just retire from everything I am doing. Seems to be easier… Hey, it is easier! But I ain’t going to do that. Cause once I start doing something, I will stick with it still the end. Try and stop me you can try but you are going to have a lot of problems trying to.

If someone hits you one your right cheek, will you turn your other cheek?

Bad mood now as you people can see. Maybe i should just go and play some violent gaes or take a walk to cheer up. See yah around.

Did You Ever Tried To Understand Me?

Go on, say "you sux" to me for doing my job. I don't mind. I am not so sensitive that i would think all nigth about what you people say about me... NOT. Like i said before: You've got a problem with me doing my duty, look for the person who assigned that job to me. Do i like to give out detention or being the messager that someone got detention? NO! But that's my job and i intend to do it cause it iswhat i am supposed to do. So you argue with me that you see it pointless to go for detention over just forgetting to do canteen duty. But if i don't give you detention, what about the rest of the people i gave detention to earlier?

You argued with me over why you get detention over such a small thing but councillors don't get anything for doing anything wrong? Cause you never see us get punished. You may never will. No one else beside those involved will. We councillors are pushed harder than normal students. Do you understand the pressure? Oh... you are a monitor? But you can't see things from my point of view? For that, I actually feel sad for you. You weren't given a choice to become a monitor and i was chose to remain a councillor? I am at such a stage that backing out of the council is not a solution anymore. So i chose to accept what i am and live up to the responsibilities. What about you? Are you still complaining about why you became a monitor in the first place?

Bring in your mom if you want to. All your friends too if you wish to do so. I took my stand and ain't backing down. I've chose to live up to the challenge. What about you? Shun and run away from it? That talks a lot about who you are. You find that it is outrageous that you are getting detention for just not getting a piece of paper from me? Well, that's the word from the head. Got a problem, go look for her, Not pester me to let go of my stand and make me waste 45 minutes.

Whew... finally a load off my mind. Wanna curse me? That's what the tagboard is for. Kick me in the... where ever you want? Do it the next time you see me then. Just remember to call the ambulance after you are done. The number's 995. Praises are also welcomed, that is if you have any. Signing off here.

Dreamt Last Night

I dreamt about you again
Last night in my slumber
I felt the radience of your face
I felt the warm smile
And your laughter by my side
You were right next to me
And not there at all
You were reassuring
All i did was panic
But things went okay
And it all worked out

Then"phoof", my hand hit the cupboard next to the bed and i woke up... and a few seconds later my alarm clock rang... talk about timing... And Nat, she is not who who you are thinking of. Or it may be... or not... :P MUAHAHAHAHA...

That's enough for today... just wanted to express myself. See you people around?

Oh Well...

Picture, pictures, pictures... That's probably the reason i almost fail my art. (another factor is laziness but back on topic XP ) I have never been good at picking pictures or art. The only thing i usually leave out of powerpoint presentation are pictures. Now my blogskins usually leave out pictures. Sigh... Got to learn how to do pictures... Minda got the talent, of course his skins are nice... Got to learn from the pros how and when do they take photos...

Feel liek coming out with some lines of words again. Here i go:

Lousey pain in my chest
Please go away
Leave me alone
Just for another day
Thanks to you i can't play
And have fun all day

Lousey pain in my chest
Please go away
Walk out the door
And not turn back
Just give me time without your face
Without me feeling the strain

Interesting thing i came out with. Many don't know this but once in a while i will swallow painkillers without anyone knowing. SweeHao saw me once. This pain is only slight so i usually can't be bothered by it. Porbably only when something important is coming up will i take it. And i am not addicted to it. It is the kind that no one can get addicted to. No drugs inside. And i don't take the painkillers unless absolute necessary so don't tell me not to do anything unless you are very sure it is bad for me. Why did i say that? Cause i know you people will.

Crap... I sound too serious now... Got to lighten the mood... WHat can i do to lighten the mood? Nothing now i guess... Opps, that sounds bad. I can't lighten the mood? Man... Got to get some tips from WeiJin. XP

That's all for today. No more smiling endings now. Just be yourself, and you will find out who you really are.