Somtimes i wonder if some things are worth all the trouble... Guess sometiems i may try my best to keep things as peacful as possible and try to be as tolerant as possible, but i guess some people can't really see that... It gets tiring when no one actually really understands me. No one can really say they understand me anyway, all this thoughts and feelings are mine and mine alone to experience.
Ok... Today went out for dinner with my OG at Pizza Hut at Plaza Singapura. I guess i was the only one rushing for tiem as i was given a time to be home. But thank God i managed to get my mom to extend the time for me to get home, or else i would have not have eaten at all... But i was wondering, why was it that other teens could go home so much more later than me?? Or was it my OG mates couldn't really unbderstand that i needed to go home eariler then them because of my responsibilities at home? They were so relaxed when they moved... Unlike me who was rushing so i could get home on time...
I guess other teens are different from me... I have to be the nice kid who gets home not too late and be able to do all the housework... Some say i can make the perfect husband, but who cares about that now? I can't even be bothered about it...
Oh yah... And when i wasn't home, i heard my mom went ballistic on my siblings again when my dada was asleep... Look like i am needed at home too... Guess i am needed almost everywhere... At home to be peace-maker... To be a listening ear to some of my friends... To help people to speak up... To instill confidence in others... Then so many things i want to do like going out with friends and traking time off for CCA... But guess there will always be soem people against my choices...
Sometimes i wonder if there was someone out there who will be the one to help shoulder all this burden... Will there be someone that can instill ocnfidence in me when i lack it?? Will there be someone who is actually really to just sit down and hear me grumble?? Cause i know taht a conversion can be kept going by not talking about yourself but the other party, and probably most of the stuff said about yourself will probably be forgotten by the other party... Don't say it's not true, cause i am like that some times too... We humans are naturally selfish people... We care more about ourselves then others...
I wondered if any of my OG-mates could see iwas a little agitated today... Casue i was rushing and they were taking their own sweet time to move... If they see this... Oh well, now you know... Try thinking for those who are different from you next time ok?? Life ain't the same for everyone... Not everyone got a pair of parents that are willing to let go of their kids...
Oh well... I know God is there for me to carry me through... Guess i need to have a little more faith in him...
Enough of me... Like i said how many really cares more about others then themselves?? If you can say you are such a person, good for you... Cause that is what i hope i am...
And I hurt the finger i hurt playing basketball around 1 year ago the same way... Now it is back to the state where i can't bend it...
Look through my eyes... See all the pain... Feel all the hurt and loss ... Then maybe you can say you know me...
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