Nothing Much

Nothing much happened today. Just went to my friend's house to play some cards and had fun. Other than that, nothing else much happened... besides me winnin them... and thats means its time for me to change deck...

A friend of mine, Nat(or Kian in the tagboard), said i my posts looks less "whatever i don't remember" but i roughly translated it as depressing... and when he reads this he wil come after my neck for not remembering and start explaing to me the meaning of the "whatever i don't remember" word... but until then, i can till keep saying the "whatever i don't remember" word is the "whatever i don't remember" word... hehehe...

Is this the first time i just laugh in my blog? Must remember this day then... Lame? Then find some other blog to read then!

If that didn't deter you, than till next time, keep that smile on your face or... or... or i will... whatever....

Pissed?

Now i not quite sure how i feel... should have written this post yesterday... just came home too late due to some school event i m helping out at... yesterday i was a cameraman, but got scolded for not getting the camera from the teacher in charge but from the IT assitants of the school... before that, i n another guy was scolded for doing a small mistake by the executive commitee... come on, we had to finish the work fast, or how could we have helped the other sections in their work then? Where were u when we were sloggin our guts out? did u see us or were u also too bz with something else? I m just happy i didn't typed this yesterday or this cold have all ended up in caps...

When i was first in the student council, my batch first task was to perform the a drama n dance for the farewell party for our seniors. when it was at the end when we were wishing each other all the best, mmany cried. I wondered if the same would happen to me one day... i guess it happened yesterday... i admit i cried, not intensely but enough tears came out of the eyes for it to be considered as crying... i wanted to give up staying in the council, but i ended being slightly motivated by my seniors to push on... guess when one wants to give up, something will come and cheer him/her on...

Today, went to my friend's house to play cards... THE NEW DECK WAS A SUCCESS!!!! Guess i got to look for more people to test it out with... guess can't wait to trash more people... hehehe...

That's all the things i probaly have for today... i could complain more bout my mom now but... nevermind... So till next time, keep on going still the end...

Time to start the grumbling or what ever this is...

I am back from the amazing busy weekend... this sturday i wasn't really busy... but yesterday, sunday, was... had a petanque competition in the morning where i was totally trashed... come on, i have only trained for 1 week... that was at least enough to delay only the inevitable thought...

I spent the rest of the day geting a present for an old friend of mine... spent an hour going back to causeway point n back just to get something from there which i realised i lost that afternoon... wonder if i should have told her that? Oh well, maybe i will tell her later... but other than that, i just passed her her present and just exchanged greetings... she found out a little bout me but i guess i was just too tongue tied to ctually talk... why was i so dumb? Guess i have to find some time to undo this mistake of mine...

Thats tall the babbling i have for today... just hope i will become more socialable... so till next time, be alert and notice the chances around u... n i just remember, the poem like thingey from a few entries back? A friend of mine is thinking of turning it into a song...

Sick and tired...

The sick is pratically sick... so sick of doing something but really sick... it in my genes that if i do not get enough rest i get this flu like thing... this seems to be the longest time it lasted... 2 days... that's where i get the tired part from... n why m tired? That is as the past days i have been in school from 6.30am to around 3pm++ to 4pm++... some times 5pm++... i desperately need sleep... but only i complete this entry as, this just seems be have become an habit... old habits die hard...

It is the holidays n i m still sloggin my guts out in school n home... life can of course get worser, contary to popular belief again... i feel very tired today, so i shall end this early to leave u with less to bear with... n till next time, remember rest is the most important for your bady... do not skip rest times unless absolutely necessary...

Speechless...

See what i came up with yesterday that probably made me feel better...

Why should I come back to
What I have been running from?
Why should I come back to?
What I have noting to gain?

Left me the darkness,
Leaving me to fend alone…
Left me by the riverside,
Adding my tears to the flow…

I have no reason to come back,
To what was never mine…
Never a reason to come back,
To find what was never there…

Never had a reason to hope,
Just a reason to go…
Looking for what was never there,
Searching for naught…

All the effort lost,
No appreciation received…
Revealed the truth,
Became the biggest fool…

Sleepless night after night,
But you never knew…
Used the hurt outside,
To numb the hurt inside…

I took a dive,
Into the deep end…
I gave away my heart,
Never to have it returned…

Is this a lesson?
I asked myself…
What did I learn?
I’ll never know…

Why should I return
To what I was…
When I can choose
To be what I am?

Why should I come back
To what I am not?
Why should I come back
When I can be who I am?

I have found out who the mysterious messanger is today... m i going to take revenge? no... i m not so bad n hope i will never be... n i hope i will never end up that kind of person... i have made my choice n will stick to it... i have made my own bed n thus i will sleep on it myself...

The truth finally helped clear the fog in front of me... felt better man... everything just fell into place after i found out... HA, i feel so much better man... n ignorance seems very powerful after all...

Thinking...

Life has been an roller coaster ride for me so far... it has it up n downs all the times... seems to be more downs so fay thought... my roller coaster must be built on a slope... lets hope it goes up one day...

I never found out who the mysterious messanger to me was, even thought we had an interesting text conversation yerterday... the person just refused to tell me who he/she is, even thought i suspect it is a she... anyway, all the suspects have been questions n neither admitted to it... even the main suspect... wonder if this is a plot to shake me up like my father says... oh well, the person don't seem to be talking to me again... but it was interesting advice he/she gave... grap the chance when u have the chance... but i find there no problem with people more capable taking it up instead of me... conflicting mindsets... caused me a minor burnt with the iron n probably 1 to 2 sleepless nights... but is is over? Not until i think throughly bout the advice...

My knee feels like crap today... want to run around n play basketball, but with this... what m i to do? finding another way to destress is not easy man... hope i get some slack cut this up coming months...

I just feel conflicted and lost at the moment... hope up coming is an answer to my questions or just a minor distraction to keep me focused... school work is piling up by the minute even thought it is the school holidays(or it seems to be without me touching it...) . I m just abit lost n just hope God will send someone to tell me what is teh right thing to do...

I totally hate prank calls, messages and anything else that doesn't tell me whereit is from... Like what my social studies teacher, Miss Zavier, always says, "Is the source reliable?" which is not as i do not know the source!!! If the person who refuses to admit who on earth he or she is to me and sent me those funny messages is reading this, i m going to find out WHO U R.... how would I? who knows what i will do...

I remember getting a prank call from someone in the past... i found out who it was... at least it was someone i know... could have been worst... i won't tell u how for the risk "the person who refuses to admit who on earth he or she is to me and sent me those funny messages" is reading this, which whom i m suspecting will, as i think the person know who i m... no, i m very sure this person know who i m... oh well, only time will tell...

Man, i must learn to stop typing the "..." ... and i just did it again... and again... Ok... I will stop. Finally... not. The dots just seems depressing... must try out a new style... And whoever u r that keeps keeping me in suspence, will u PLEASE stop it? For the sake of the "PLEASE" in the previous sentence...

Petanque!

The title is pronouced as pay-tong... a french name... a sport it is... just learned how to play it today... it is just throwing a metal ball as close as possible to another small ball... seems quite fun to me now as i havn't touch a basketball for who know how long as my knee can't take too much strain... it hurts if i walk too much too...

Everyday i come back n hear my mom complaining... thinking of giving up hope of her changing... just have to keep on praying iguess... hope God answers it soon...

It's getting very tiring for me to ignore my heart calling out even when i know it is wrong... have to keep my feeling in control while concentrating on my studies... after my my O levels next year i will be FREE... but up to then, studies all the way then... even if i have to crawl my way out of tight situations... i will have to remember that studies are the most important now...

So until my entry, don't worry, be happy... everything will definately work out...

Classes during holidays?!?!?!

I hate holiday classes.... i m not the kind of person mentioned in by my social studies teacher... the kind the teenagers that the shops beg the schools to give extra homework and classes to to keep them off the streets... y m i getting fed up over this anyway? BECAUSE ALL I WANT TO HAVE IS FUN!!!! IS THAT A CRIME?!?!?! Y CAN'T U JUST GIVE US THE SPACE THEN?!?!

That enough shouting for today... holiday classes today wasn't so bad... 2mrw going to face maths teacher... oh well... what have i do be afraid of anyway? (besides she can call my parents n get them to scold the socks off me if i was wearing a pair?)

Gotta keep this smile on my face man... and it is proving more n more difficult to do so... i have given up hope on nathaniel ng from today onwards... at the rate he is purposly ignoring me, we probably will only end up friends again in heaven...(abit extreme comparision but... u know...)

That's all for today... let's hope my mom will start to change her attitude... provided she will admitt that she was ever wrong in the first place...

Need some one to Talk to...

Man, are the holidays boring... probably today is the most interesting of the whole week. I went back to my primary school to promote my secondary school... and i had to start reharesing my speech eary in teh morning at 7 in school... but the teacher came at 7.03... n only practice for a while... than suddenly say she got meeting then leave me in school to practice for 1 whole hour... wah lao...

When i was delivering my speech thingey, i had to mention my p6 teachers name... after mentioning her name, i paused for a moment... suddenly the students start clapping... very embarressing... at least i finshed what i was supposed to do... n 1 more thing, my p6 teacher was there too... so one can guess probably how i m feeling...

Is is ok if i complain about my mom on this blog? Only my friends know who i m n very very little of them know who my mom is... so it still seems ok...

Come on mom, dad just back from the hopital... stop pushing him around... try to understand that all he can do now is rest... n stop complaining... u r making everybody moody...

That all the nonsense i have for today... i got no one to talk to thus the title... n the entry being the longest i have so have so far... i think...

Back Again...

I m back from a tiring day... remember the earlier pic on my knee? It looked the same today... y? becaused it hurt alot yesterday... even when i was doing nothing... at least it felt better now...

My dad back from the hospital. N due to his condition, the whole family had a diet change... my bro can't seem to get used to it though... he hates his greens n almost anything that is black... choosey huh? n he called me choosey... he should probably learn to leave people alone too... if he want other people to leave him alone... same applies for respect... i m just happy i m no genocidical madman or many around will be dead already...

The link to Nathaniel's blog at the corner is down... do not know why as he has been recently cuting contact with me... don't want to hurt me he says... but how can u hurt someone who is already hurt... and not yet fully recovered? have to try to knock some sense into him one of these days...