Seeing Stars... *_*

I think i just invented a emoticon... Let me google to check... Ok, looks like wikipedia uses it as an example of what an emoticon is like... Oh well...

Have been studying the whole day, probably till i'm crazy already. Or maybe i was already crazy to begin with... Or maybe i've lost it for some time already... Or whatever it is...

I wonder if one more person going down to donate blood could have helped him. Condolences to all who knew him.

Kind of hard to study when there are renovations going on outside the house... And i had to be home because they were replacing the electric meters... Wondered how i managed to study with all the noise pollution...

Life is fragile. One minute we could here, the next minute gone. We don't know when we will get the call to return up. They say live each day to the fullest, appreciate those around you, cause they may not be there tomorrow.

I wonder how many people i known have passed on... Last one that impacted me qutie a bit was when this guy i knew died from falling from a height. Never knew what happened. Was shocked at his passing, always expected him to proceed quite far in life, never thought of him as the kind of gave up easily.

Another one that comes to mind was the librarian from my secondary school. Was going to start working with him on IT stuff, then suddenly got the news that he passed on. Always knew him as a fierce but nice person.

The lost of someone is never a happy thing. We may miss them, but as long as we keep them in our hearts, they will always be with us. Thank you for making the difference, be it big or small, in my life. It's those differences that made me who i am today, and i'm grateful for that.

Too much lost already, but why am i still giving away part of me?

And what's the cost of trying to surpass limits?

Too bad for me i've lost so much but still am giving, yet people who still have choose not to give in fear of losing.

When we look back and reflect, do we see what we have done and try to do something about it? Or do we choose not to care about it, since it doesn't concern us, even though you have the power to change it? One thing i've learned today: I could have gotten out of the lift and gave way to a senior citizen to bring his bike down. No harm done otherwise, but just felt giving way would have been a better choice.

When we look back a year before, have we changed? And if we changed, is it for the better for for the worst? A year back, you were the most caring person i knew. Now, you have became someone who doesn't care much anymore. Sure you may care about some stuff, but there are stuff that are important too. Stuff that if not settled, may result in emotional distress, or depression. I've been there before, not a nice place to be.

Quoting from someone "It's impossible to find someone who will never hurt you, so go for the one who makes all the pain worth it".

Another quote: "Logic may take you from point A to B, but imagination can take you anywhere."

Sometimes i just want to run and hide. Go somewhere no one can find me, where no one knows me. Sometimes. But something just holds me back. Something. Keeps showing me that no matter how far i run, the problem will still be there. No matter how fast i run, it will catch up. No matter where i hide, i'll still be found. So why waste the effort to run and hide when i can just face it now? Fear? Overcome it. Embarressment? Won't last. Pride? Swallow it. Face it. Face it like the responsible person you are.

Man... I've no idea what i'm actually typing at the moment... Just letting stuff out, even though i still control from letting everything out. There are some stuff i'm not going to talk about here. Not that it's more personal, just want ot keep it contained for the time being.

Introspection. Self reflection. See yah.

I wonder if i could have given up my life for him. He could have probably used it better then me. There are some parts in my life where i feel i not needed or wanted. Would probably be put to better use in his hands. It could probably end all the suffering too.