A Letter To Myself (Don't read this unless you really want to see the ugle side of me)

Hey Kelvin,

How are you nerd? Why am i calling you a nerd? Everybody calls you that. Sure you know alot like Kah Leong, but he is the genius, so i guess you get the title of nerd. Oh, you argue that you also know about other things besides studies, but guess the name just stuck with the way you look.

Man are you such an anti-social. You saw Joan and Sammi in the MRT station yesterday but why didn't you went to say hello? A simple hi was all that was needed. Nothing more. Nothing less. You can say you got friends, but how easily do you make friends? How easily to mix around with people. Sure, you want to be with people. But most of the time, you know it, you prefer to be alone. You wish for more friends but you are just scared of people. Your upbringing? I don't know.

You are an idiot at times. For example: You can't even figure out why Nat is not happy with you. You can't even figure out what is the problem with youself at times. When it is time to speak out, you shut up. And when time to shut up, you speak out. And you speak very roughly too. Such that your mom can't understand you.

You feel unappreciated. Everything good you have done, has rarely been noticed by others. And whenever you do somethign bad, your world comes crumbling down thanks to conscience being too strong. I gues it is just not in your nature to actually scold someone, not in your nature to do anything bad thanks to your upbringing. You get jealous easily evertime your brother do something good and get rewarded, even thought it happens rarely. You can complain all you want to your mom about the biasness, but so far, i don't think she got the message.

You are a coward. Can't even admit to a girl properly that you like her. And you end up with sleepless nights over it and many other not important things liek if you could have done something about the events of the day.

One more thing. You are super paranoid. You think too much. Peopel coming up with one possibility means you coming up with tens. A simple reason for why something happened could become a complex question. Sure this helps with your maths, but doesn't help with your life much. It only makes your life more difficult to live.

Thats probably all i have to say to you for today. I hope the next time i write to you, this problems will be addressed and solved. And stop thinking so much.

Kelvin