Sometimes it feels like the whole world is against me. Everyone talking behind my back. Probably just me being paranoid again.

Heard from people today that usually after waiting for 2 weeks, they give up already. And here i am, into my 4th week. I wonder if there is something wrong with me or am i just plain crazy?

I wonder why there are some things people don't tell me in my face when it would probably be better. Just say it and it it done with.

I wonder about my observation skills. My body is quite sensitive to changes to the environment, sometimes a little temperature drop can cause me to get a cold. I can 'feel' the people around me talking. I used to unknowingly listen, but now i tend to filter out surrounding conversations. My mind used to be able to be able to play back a scene i remember and analyze the sounds around me. Now, the ability is just a memory.

I think i'm working on a new blogskin for myself. And thats the interesting thing. I only think i am, so it probably will take some time to accomplish. =x

I think i'm more composed then when school started. Am able to control myself better. Still i na process of restoration. Leaving it all in God's hands.

Just came back from the doctor's. Going for a x-ray tomorrow to make sure that there is nothing wrong. Random chest pains are scary especially with a history of pneumothorax. Recurrance probably means operation i guess. And the last time a doc discribed it to me,"First cut you open, find the area, apply powder to stick lung to lung wall, then stitch it up again." At least it would mean there shouldn't be an recurrance after the operation...

I wonder what am i blogging about. Seems to be messes in my life. So my life is made up of messes? Or are those only part of my life? Hmm...

To reflect on the situation, that's what some told me. Currently, i'm powerless to do anything. Thus i'm leaving it in God's hands. Nothing much else i can do without messing it up further.

I have the weirdest mom on earth. One minute she can be condemning me for falling sick, next minute asks me to take care of myself. Maybw i got the mood swings from her.... =x

What left? I don't know, probably will find out soon.

Recently found out the difference between envy and jealousy. Envy involves 2 parties, which is one party envy the other for having something he/she doesn't have. Jealousy involves 3 parties, with one being jealous that one is giving another more attention. Everybody is bound to struggle with these stuff in their life.

I seem to be typing about anything under the sun at the moment. I wonder why my laptop needed charging since i didnt use it until now.

I wonder how bear is doing.

What is the meaning of love? Sacrifice? Is it just an emotion? What is it? Giving up your life for another? Showing care and concern? Expecting nothing back for everything done? What is it?

Recently heard a song on the radio. Quite interesting lyrics. 1,2,3,4 by Plain White T's. "There's 1 thing, 2 do, 3 words, 4 you, I love you... There's only 1 way, 2 say those 3 words and that's what i'll do, i love you..." Cute song i guess, have yet to be able to find it online yet... =x

Look like i won't be jogging for a while. My body is punishing me for eating mac yesterday. Ah... Oh well, looks like no fried stuff for a while...

I think that's enough random topics for today. Goign ot get some rest before waking early again tomorrow. See yah around.