Is there nothing we can do? Are we ever truly powerless in a situation where we can only be pulled around by the decision of others cause we can't do anything? Or are we just blinded by the situation and choose not see the options we have cause the options are just what we don't want? Why is it so hard to just let go? Why is it so difficult to just tell the truth sometimes? Why is it we are afraid of hurting people but hurt them more by not telling them the truth? And why is the truth so important? It may hurt but it sets us free from the lies. So the truth is necessary for us to be truly free.

Fingers hurting after guitar-ing again after so many weeks. Going to chiong until my fingers have no feelings, if i can tahan for so long. Hmm... Tomorrow will be out for a long time... Need to go out get chritmas gift for gift exhange for party tomorrow night. Now to think what to get... And maybe i should practise a bit of guitar tomorrow morning before heading out... Planning to practise until i can change chords fast enough and strum/pluck better before playing a full song. What song? Got a whole list...

I wonder if she is doing fine now... If she is happy...

Hopefully the skins on my fingers will start peeling soon, so that it will harden sooner too. Then will probably be less painful...

If i said that everyone can do something, its just that we just either don't see what we can do or choose not to do anything, what would you do? Would you do something to try to improve the situation or would you choose not to do anything or would you choose to worsen it? Sometimes i feel that not doing anything is as good as condaming the situation and just worsening it. I wonder am i just being to idealistic sometimes, seeing things from the point of view that it is ideal. Am i just being overly hopefully? To optismistic? And now i wonder how did the once-upon-a-time me that was pessimistic and thought about suicide ended up like this? God's grace perhaps.

Real change comes from within. And it can be felt by people around. And if its a good change it can be seen. Likewise the same can be said for a bad change. People can see it, feel it. Don't care about other people's opinions? Then how can you be sure that what you did doesn't affect those around in a negative way? Or to continue if it touches people's lifes? How can we sure that we aren't destroying people's hope unless we ask them or they let us know? Its how we handle the opinions that matters.

Christmas around the corner, guess i should start shopping soon too. Need to see suitable gifts for the people around me... Hmm... I guess my Christmas wish is still a bit affected by my feelings... Wishing that broken relationships will be restored... That all will be fine again... But i guess its probably another one of my wishful thinking... Or is it?

That's all for now i guess. See yah next time.

As long as she's happy, i'll be fine i guess.