Kena Tagged again...

Melissa took revenge on me... T.T

Name: FZE, Kelvin
Birth Date: 1st June 1990
Current Status: Single and enjoying it. Don't try to spoil it.
Eye Color: Black
Hair Color: Black with strands of white here and there
Righty or Lefty: Righty, right? XD

[On the Inside]
Your Heritage: Chinese
Your Fear: Being useless and hated
Your Weakness: Ignoring helpless people...
Your Perfect Pizza: Erm... Don't eat pizza much... So don't know

[Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow]
Your First Thought: After Boxing day... 2 days after Christmas...
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: Try not to worry so much and go sleep...
Your Most Missed Memories: Studying in Peicai with the people around me

[Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: Coke, but if Pepsi Twist is still better!
McDonalds or Burger King: Don't care, just eat
Single or Group Dates: Honestly don't know
Adidas or Nike: Nike, Just Do It
Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate wins hands down
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
Smoke: History of Penumothorax doesn't make me a good friend of smokers
Curse: That you can't curse anymore?? XD
Take showers: Everyday. you only shouldn't if you are allergic to water or something...
Have a crush: I think so. Full stop.
Think you are in love: No, maybe, yes, what's the difference?
Want to get married: Ask me again in maybe 4-5 years.
Believe in yourself: Sometimes. Quote from somewhere i just remembered," Believe in me who believes in you."
Think you are a health freak: Erm... No... Gave up exercising regularly already...

[In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: No
Gone to the mall: Yes
Been on stage: No.
Eaten sushi: No.
Dyed your hair: No... No matter how much i want to now...

[Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: No
Changed who you were to fit in: Change is the only constant in life, what kind of question is thsi anyway?? =.=

[Age]
You are hoping to be married at the age of: before 35 sounds good

[In a Gal]
Best Eye Color: Is it really important??
Best Hair Color: As long as not too bright i'm fine
Short Hair or Long Hair: Not really important...

[What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: Editing blog
1 Hour Ago: Gaming online
4.5 Hours Ago: Chilling after coming home
1 Month Ago: Preparing for some campus crusade event
1 Year Ago: Just back from Thailand Mission Trip

[Finish the Sentence]
I Love: God, my Family and my Friends
I Feel: lost cause i forgot how to describe how i feel... XD
I Hate: something worth hating at the moment like homework... And no price for guessing teh emo answer : Me.
I Hide: my money and sometimes my feelings
I Need: what i need.

The next 5 peeps are:
1. Melissa Ho ( from a Melissa to me to another Melissa... XD )
2. Clara
3. You reading this now
4. Yup. You.
5. No need to look beside you. You know it's you. XD

Let it Snow/Rain/Something-That-Drops-From-The-Sky

It's that time of the year again when kids get presents and whatever else that comes with it. Unfortunately, i'm not a kid so i only got a few greetings from people and some small gifts which would probably worsen my sore throat. But i treasure everyone of them, more so if it can fill up my tummy. XD

And so it being Christmas, i decided to set out on a quest from my study room. To create a new blogskin for myself, not knowing that it would take up my whole day just doing it and taking loads of minor breaks in between. For a person without much art in his blood, it was expected. But i forgot that it could take so long and "just do it" like they say. And thus you are now looking at the end result. A Christmas present to myself. Comments please. Hoping this was a improvement from the last one, which i heard was horrendous by the way. XD

Many of you people probably know what Christmas is about. Jesus Christ being born on this day many many years ago. But why celebrate his birth?? Cause it was the fulfillment of a promise God made to send a Saviour. A Saviour to save us from our sins. Jesus was like a gift from God. A gift to save us. That's the main reason why we Christians celebrate Christmas. (:

Ever heard of Christmas shopping after Christmas?? I probably will be doing that soon cause i didn't really get anything for anybody... And it was already too late... And i felt very pai seh when people got me present and i was empty handed... Ah... Have to make a list of who to get presents for... XD

Jeanie just asked em to organize a 4I class outing... Maybe for New Years. Anybody interested?? Tomorrow maybe think about it... And maybe come out with a plan...

Ah... That's probably all for now. See yah next time!!!

And all i want for this Christmas is your forgiveness...

ARGH!!! NO HEROS TONIGHT CAUSE OF CHRISTMAS EVE!! Effort wasted.... T.T

And Around the Corner is Christmas

And here-i-am(XD) again, thinking of something to blog about while listening to the radio and waiting for Heros to start in less then half an hour time. So what do you expect is going to come out as the rest of the post?? XD

The past week was fine... Lets see... Last Monday went for photo taking with Minda, JiaKang, Vanessa, Shannon and Vincent. Vincent was the photographer of the day. You want photos?? Erm... let me think bout it first... Ok, 2 photos is ok i guess...



It is for Minda's TeeBag company. I got pulled in to do dunno what... XD Can visit his blog for more info : http://www.broccooli.com/. Go and take a look at the first shirt a few post down. (:

Tuesday was spent... erm... slacking at home... Wednesday i started playing an online mecha online game called Exteel. Click for more info. Played for 3 days until i level 8 i guess. Haven't been playing for 23 days... Will probably return tomorrow if i got time to play. XD

Saturday did a little cleanup in my table. Probably got a little flu cause of the dust... And that was a understatement i guess, cause i was sneezing all day... And was one of the few days i actually slept a while in the afternoon...

Sunday was Christmas service. And i forgot about presents... Guess that what i got for playing too much... =X But Thanks to those who gave me something anyway. (:

Today was also spent mainly slacking... CAN'T GET MYSELF TO DO HOMEWORK OR STUDY!!!! ARGH!!!

Guess that probably wraps up my past few days. Tomorrow will probably be the same old thing happening again... XD

Oh well... See yah people next time either way, 5 more minutes to Heros so i'm on time!! XD

Same Mistake

So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars beneath my feet
Remember rights that I did wrong
So here I go

Hello, hello

There is no place I cannot go
My mind is muddy but
My heart is heavy, does it show
I lose the track that loses me
So here I go

And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night,
Said "Have you seen my enemy?"
Said "he looked just like me"
So I set out to cut myself
And here I go

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again,

And maybe someday we will meet
And maybe talk and not just speak
Don't buy the promises 'cause
There are no promises I keep,
And my reflection troubles me
So here I go

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again

So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars
Look at the stars, falling down,
And I wonder where, did I go wrong.

-James Blunt

Got tagged by Lina a while back, shall do it now even though she didn't really tag me to do it...

RULES to follow
1. Do the following WITHOUT complains.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.

FAVOURITES
Colour: Black, white, green
Food: Chicken rice(any style, Jap or Chi Or Malay or blah)
Song: Currently? Same Mistake by James Blunt
Movie: Remember Flipper? First movie i ever watched...

HAVE YOU EVER
Dated Your Best Friend: No
Broken The Law: Erm... Can't really remember...
Been Arrested: No...
Been On TV: Does almost count?
Kissed Someone You Don't Know: No

5 THINGS YOU ARE WEARING:
1) T-shirt
2) pants
3) underwear
4) Spectacles
5)Erm... does the skin count?? o.o??

THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY:
1) eat
2) sleep
3) play pool
4) did common test
5) play psp
6) surf internet
7) think
8) iron cloths
9) talk
10) nothing

THINGS YOU CAN HEAR RIGHT NOW:
1) vehicles on the road
2) sis playing DS
3) me typing
4) water flowing

THINGS YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED:
1) Play
2) watch anime
3) surf internet
4) nothing

The 5 lucky chosen ones:
1) Nat (Can't find anyone better for number one)
2) Melissa
3) Wei bin
4) Delia
5) Whoever you are reading this and got nothing better to do.

When Water Kills

Finally back to blog after more than a week. Didn't feel like doing last week cause my Laptop was having some problem. It was lagging like it got all the time in the world. Press something and around a minute or more later then i would get a respond. Had to use system restore to get it back running again... By then the week and pass and i had already wasted enough time in classes that required a computer to watch a movie. Note to self: maintain laptop at least once every week...

Lets see... Last week nothing much really happened besides the usual school stuff. Wait, got something happened. Campus crusade had a event call SMAD, or SM appreciation day. Had to dress up as heroes, even though Mickey Mouse was also around. Wonder in what way is he a hero... Hmm... My DG dressed in Men in black cause it was simple. XD

Yesterday when i was on my way back, it was raining cats and dogs. There was this particular stretch that wasn't sheltered. A sheltered is being built but by that time it probably completes, the raining season would probably be over. I was lazy to use my umbrella so i ran. Got wet nevertheless, can't be helped. Then along the way, i saw dead baby bird on the floor. probably dropped from somewhere and drowned in the rain. Fragile little thing it was. It was lying in the middle of the pathway so it was unavoidable. I wanted to walk away but i turned back around. I picked it up and placed it on a dry table at the void deck. Something inside me hoped that at least it would squirm a little so i can know its still alive. Nothing happened when i picked it up. I guess thats how fragile life is. All it takes is that one wrong move or situation to take it away. It left me wondering if i had arrived a little earlier i could have saved it.

So i guess i have arrived at another point again: Live life to the fullest. How am i doing that? For me i guess i'm living will God's guidance at the moment and searching for my life purpose.

ARGH... I missed a chance today to do the right thing. When i alighted from the bus at the interchange, someone sitting in front of me was still asleep. I left it for someone else to wake him up even thought i could have done it and save the person from walking a few more steps... Kelvin, you got to work harder...

I think i have this weird habit of observing the behavior people and trying to interpret what are they thinking about. What were they thinking when they were doing that? Rarely do people do something without reason. So when a action leaves me pondering, i guess i need to ask some else of their opinion or even ask the person who did the something in the first place. I guess i shall consult others first, even thought most people probably won't know... Oops... I just type a whole lot of crap... XD

Currently i'm learning how to commit everything to God. Why? Cause it's difficult for me to let go, be it things i own or problems. Strange that i even hold on to problems right? Cause i just don't want to trouble people most of time i guess. Got to place all my worries into his hands so i can live my life without being too emo. how did u think i became less emo in the first place? XD

Man... It feels a bit strange talking to myself cause that's what blogging is like to me. Self-reflection for the past few days and sorting out thinking processes. When i can see what i'm thinking, i guess i think better. I guess thats why from young i had to practice writing chinese so many times to remember how to write it for spelling... XD

Ha... That's all for now. Have to get back to real life. See yah!!

I turn left, you turn right. When i stare at u u stare right back. What are you?

What happens when a sick person blog :

Mcfly - The Heart Never Lies

Some people laugh,
And some people cry,
And some people live,
And some people die,
And some people run,
Right into the fire,
And some people hide,
Their every desire

But we are the lovers,
If you don't believe me,
Then just look into my eyes,
Cause the heart never lies

And some people fight,
And some people fall,
Others pretend,
They don't care at all,
If you wanna fight,
I'll stand right beside you,
The day that you fall,
I'll be right behind you,
To pick up the pieces,
If you don't believe me,
Then just look into my eyes,
Cause the heart never lies

Another year over,
And we're still together,
It's not always easy,
But I'm here forever,

Yeah, we are the lovers,
I know you believe me,
When you look into my eyes,
Cause the heart never lies,
Cause the heart never lies, yeah,
Cause the heart never lies

All Smiles are Beautiful

AAAHHHH!!! TOMORROW IS EEPS PRACTICAL TEST!!! AAAHHH!!! Control circuits are driving me crazy... And i only learned how they actually worked last week only...

Here's a equation my friends and i worked out a few days ago.
Knowledge = Power
Power = Work done/ Time
Therefore, Knowledge = Work done/ Time
This shows that one gains most knowledge when a lot work is done over a short period of time. And if we move time over,
Knowledge*Time = Work done
And from the above equation, we can see that knowledge when used over a long period of time will result in most work done. Yeah. XD

Was feeling emo for no particular reason yesterday and wanted to do a emo post. Then i read this from the daily bread website:

My nephew’s job was soon to be eliminated, so I was glad to hear from his wife that he had just accepted an offer for a new position.

“We prayed, I worried, and Eric was determined to get another job,” Angie wrote in an e-mail, explaining the journey they’d been on for the last few months.

It’s easy for us to panic when we face serious concerns—the loss of a job, a family member with cancer, a wayward child.

So we pray. And we get busy. We start doing everything we can think of to move forward in a positive way.

And we worry. We know it’s a waste of time. Yet a lot of us find ourselves in this dilemma—we know we should trust God, but we wonder just what He’s going to do.

That’s when we turn to His Word—to remind us that He is walking with us and inviting us to hand over to Him our worries and burdens. Scripture tells us, “[Cast] all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7), and “God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).

When your mind turns to anxious thoughts about the future, remember that “your heavenly Father knows” (Matt. 6:32) and will give you what you need.
—Cindy Hess Kasper

I don’t know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One who feeds the sparrow
Is the One who stands by me. —Stanphill
© 1950 by Ira Stanphill

Worry is a burden God never intended us to bear.

I felt better after reading that. I guess i have a problem with letting go of my troubles. And people say i look relaxed. I guess i hide my feelings very well. Another strange thing bout me. I probably cause i find there no use worrying the people around to. So what if i bottle everything up inside? Explosions may happen once in a while, but most of you won't see it. One got to take advantage of every chance he has to release pressure. (:

I started a little on a new blogskin. And a little means collected all the images. Nothing more, nothing less. Going to continue when i feel like i'm going to do something stupid to keep me away from doing those stupid things. Hope it turns out better than my current one. Still thinking of a concept... Any suggestions??

It's ironic that sometimes i tell people to look forward to the future and not look back at past mistakes to feel bad but learn from them. I guess this is what they call regrets. We can only reflect on them and learn from them. Some of these experiences leave scars but thats what all they are, scars and nothing more. They are just a sign that we got through the problem, even thought we got hurt. But with Jesus by my side, i can move on.

Ah... Moving on... Going to watch CSI already before sleeping... See yah next time!!

All smiles are beautiful, non are ever ugly.

I Need a Recharge...

Finally got some energy back after the past few exhausting days... Friday played basketball until shagged out... Then Saturday helped out in Family Day for around 8 hours from 12 onwards... Then today had to wake up earlier for usher duty. Could almost doze off during youth today... Was super tired... Tomorrow morning going to have sports and wellness lesson and thus end up more exhausted... And look like tomorrow going to have to do loads of homework after coming back from school... zzzzzzz...

Mel was saying guys can't really multi-task, especially in relationships, after she chatted with me. I think that only applies to me thought. Why? If you multi-task, can you give your best when doing something? I just want to give my all when i do somethings and not be distracted too easily. Quality over quantity.

ARGH... It's still the little things that happens around me that affects me... I need to be slightly less sensitive of my environment and more sensitive of the people around me... I got a feeling i sometimes accidentally hurt someone without even realising it. Something still doesn't feel right around me. I guess it's because i still got some unsettled business with somebody but there still seems to be something else. Or maybe i am thinking too much again... Committing everything into God's hands in hope that everything will work out fine in the end...

FOUR MORE WEEKS TO SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!! Come on... Time fly by faster... Please let holidays be here soon... T.T

Going to rest now... Need the rest for class tomorrow... See yah!!

Here I go so Dishonestly, Leave a note for you my Only One - Yellowcard /Only One

Drifting to Lala land...

ARGH... Very tired now... Just came back slightly more than an hour ago... will try to squeeze in some work before going to bed... AH... Haven't prepare what to wear for tomorrow yet... Just remembered only... zzzz....

Better start doing and stop blogging... See yah next time!!

To Not Be Empty

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

We're empty

Empty - The Click Five

Sometimes we spent most of our time trying to fill up a gap inside. But no matter how hard try, nothing seems to fill it. Nothing fits either. And someone comes along and shows us what we have been missing. Christ.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Lets see... School is starting to pick up pace. More schoolwork, more events, more activities to attend... Keeping my motivation level up to endure it all. Going to work all the way this semester to try to maintain my score. Going to make NP regret not giving me scholarship. XD

Hmm... Having training for Red Camp this Friday... Will clash with German lesson... Thank goodness German lesson semester attendance is not counted. First training.. then 1 hour of German lesson... Cramp timetable... Then Saturday got Church family day... Ah... Just remembered need to go find out what time do i have to report there... And Thursday is going to have a maths test... Following week German listening test... And followed by Pastor's wedding following Saturday too... Hope Red Camp doesn't put me on Saturday duty or something... So many things coming up... @.@

ARGH... Take things one step at a time Kelvin... Man, i must be losing it to start talking to myself... Must be caused slept late yesterday due to watching Heroes... And there's CSI tonight... Don't know if my body can tahan... At least tomorrow's lesson starts at 9 instead of the usual 8... Ok, can consider watching CSI...

That's all for now, need to prepare for tomorrow... And looks like i may also need a haircut soon... See yah!!

Ich Wohnen In Serangoon!!!

Hey, first time i actually typed out some German for my blog i think. The title means I live in Serangoon. XD

School was fine today. The only things major was German skit/presentation and Nathaniel dropping by NP to gather some info on admission to Mass Comm. Met up with Nat after discussion the German skit with my group mates. Had a short tea break before going for German lesson. Thank goodness my teacher allowed Nat to sit in the class, or he would have had to wait for me for 2 hours straight doing nothing but playing his DS. I'm sure he learned some things just by sitting in the class and using my computer to do some research. In the end, the presentation ended up quite fine. Previously was Weihao who got the most to say, now its me... Because i'm "The Man" of the group... Man... I guess this is what happenes whe nyou are the only male in the group... T.T

Man... I think i over strained my left side today since its aching now... I guess a massage will be good now... Ah... I guess i will continue dreaming... XD

God teaches us things in very different ways sometimes. This Wednesday, i saw someone accidentally dropped some money on the bus before he lighted. I realised i could have called him/her and let that person pass the day easier. I didn't and felt guilty. And i wished i could have done it, like alot of things that happened before. Then yesterday at Escape, someone dropped his wallet at one of the rides. This time i tried calling. In the end, he responded to someone else's call. And guess what? I felt alot better then on Wednesday. So what if he didn't respond to my call?? I tried. Now to try harder next time. (:

And recently i think i had a miscommunication with one of my foreign classmates. I was working with her on a assignment. In the end, our work came in first, and i think we managed to settle our differences at the same time. The coming in first part was unexpected but it helped settled things alot better. Thank God. Hopefully another situation in my life will turn out the same way... I guess that's what hope is for, to look forward to. (:

That's enough for now. Need to rest before forcing myself to do some work tomorrow. See yah!!

Escape to the Escape

Man... I think i just made a lame pun for the title... Ha...

Ok... Lets see... Didn't blog for so long cause no mood to. Today had something to blog about, so here i am(dot blogspot dot com XD). Looks like the lame bug got to me again... Ah choo... Ok, i will try to keep the jokes to the minimum then...

Today brought some classmates to escape. 2 Singaporeans bring 1 Singaporean(Who've never been to escape before), 2 Malaysians and 2 China-ese(so you will know they are Chinese from China) to go play. Met up with them at White Sands where some of them were playing arcade. Waited for one of us to finish with a game before we went to Escape. I guess Lucas was right when he said we will spend 70% of out time queuing for rides. The first thing we went for was the go-karts. Queued for an hour before we tried to out race each other.

Next, 4 of us went to eat while the rest went for the log ride. I didn't go cause i didn't want to get wet. After that we went for the flipper. I had my hands raised for fun most of the ride cause it was actually not that scary. Next, Weibin and i went for the flyer while Lucas, Jia Beng, PangKe and LiuYang of them went to the haunted house and Weileong sit aside cause he needed to rest after the earlier ride. Too bad 3 of the rides were closed, or i would have conquered them all!! XD

Next up was the most challenging ride with the longest queue: The Inverter. I never had a chance to sit on it before. Every time i came i was either too scared or it was closed. Now, i queued about half an hour for it. Hard to describe the experience cause i couldn't wear my specs for the ride. But i could still make out what was happening. After a few rounds, i got nauseas on the ride. And for fun i shouted "I want to vomit!!" in Chinese. only 4 of us went for the ride. The rest of them couldn't handle it. The most interesting part? Hanging upside down. the sky at the bottom while ground on top. It was... Indescribable. Wish i could have taken the scene. It was just different. Wait a minute... Now i just realised i could get the same effect if i took a picture and turned it the other way. XD

After that i went home while a few of them went for dinner. Then after my dinner, here i am(dot blogspot dot com). AH... Tomorrow have German presentation... Will prepare after my lesson tomorrow... Have a 6 hour break anyway... Got time to do a bit before doing the rest of my work too... ARGH... If only they can change the day of German lessons... Fridays are just the worst time to have extra lessons... I guess the people who planned the lessons didn't really think about the students... Going to see what i can do about it tomorrow. Maybe i should consult those in the German class before making a move. See if they want it to be on a different day. If it is a unified respond, i would probably do something.

AH... That's enough for today... See yah people next time!!

When a gift feels like a curse. When all you wanted was to help but was treated as an irritant. When all you wanted to was understand but was misunderstood. When all you wanted was accompany but amidst the crowd you are alone. When everyone hears you talking but no one is listening to the meaning.

I NEED SLEEP

And here starts another week of school. By the end of the week, Kelvin will be like a lifeless zombie unless he catches up with Sleep, the one thing that has been evading him for weeks already... Let the hunt begin... zzzz...

And school begin with a slow start. Basketball lesson was just a lecture on warming up and stretching... Next up was CATS lesson. Did some questions that were supposed to bring out the creativity in me or something. Lunch was like any other lunch in school. CAEM1 lesson was like any other maths tutorial lesson. Then had talk with teachers about a focus group discussion i will be having next Monday.

The focus group discussion will be about the 4th public University. Will be among different polys and the head of the committee deciding the the plan will be there too. Minister of State, or MOS(BURGER!!), Lui Tuck Yew. And i'm one of the lucky few that was selected from my school to go for the discussion... Only 7 from NP. Lesser from other polys were selected. Lucky me... Or unlucky?? Anyway, i guess i just have to prepare myself to talk on that day... In front of people, MOS and the press... No pressure Kelvin, just load yourself up on the necessary information... ARGH...

Need... To... Go... SLEEP... See... You... Next... Time...

And to take the step forward for God.

For The Moments I Feel Faint

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you you're wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong
-Reliant K

Never realised i got this song until one day my Ipod on shuffle played it. One of my favorites at the moment. The song played at a moment i was feeling a down and i guess i found the strength to continue at that point of time. Never really knew what the name of the song until the 2nd or 3rd time i heard it... XDHad the price award ceremony today. Got only a measly $60. Those who top the modules get $50. So image those who top 4 modules... $200... Already more then what i get... Wait a minute, top 2 modules already more then me... Next time know have to aim to be top in a few modules then richer... XD

The picture about was taken by the photographer. All the people are the receivers of awards from the course ECE. I know i don't look suang... You will also if you are 3rd but get only $60 while those who are not in the top 3 get more then you for topping at least 2 modules... XD

Ah... Time to start working hard already... Thats all for the moment, see yah next time!!

It's alright, It's okay. I think God can explain.

Hocus Focus

Wow... 3rd day straight blogging. Haven't done this kind of thing for quite some time.

Lets see... Today i went to a block in school i had never been to before, block 1, the block where the admin stuff of the school are settled i think. Had to go there for a briefing on a focus group discussion i will be in 2 Mondays from now. A discussion with the Minister of State, Lui Tuck Yew, about the 4th university in Singapore. I got given a whole file of articles with some people's opinion on it, and i am going to have to say something that day i guess. Thinking of questions or things that i want in the university at the moment... Any suggestions welcomed at the moment cause i can't really think properly at the moment. And of all people in my school, they selected me... Or maybe cause other people turned it down and it just fell onto my lap... Oh well... I guess this can be a good time for me to do something worthwhile in a while...

Tomorrow will be price award for those people who achieved something last semester. Hope i would get enough for a PSP or more... XD Or maybe not... It may distract me from my studies... Or i can use it as motivation for myself to work harder... Possibilities... Endless, boundless possibilities. That's what life is about sometimes i guess.

My dad was more anxious then me for getting a place in the price award ceremony... He was like asking me about my attire, time, and whatever related to the price giving ceremony possible yesterday. Ha... I guess i not really excited bout it cause life still goes on as normal and with the new and worst timetable then last semester, i'm still adapting. Oh well, less then 8 weeks to holidays...

I guess thats all for now. See yah next time!!

It's like I'm walking to on broken glass, Better believe i bled, It's a call I'll never get...

Undeniable

It's undeniable how brilliant you are
In an unreliable world you shine like a star
It's unforgettable now that we've come this far
It's unmistakable that you're undeniable

February 5th, Friday morning, purple dawn,
Broke a yawn, as I stepped through the fog, like I stepped to a song
A moment like a poem, you wish you could hold it
I shut my eyes like it's frozen, it's gone when I open
It slipped past the clouds right there where it lingered
Like your band and a girl could slip through your fingers
My feet hit the ground like a beat for the lonely
On a path beaten down by the crowds in the morning

If only I could touch past the phony
If only they were there now to hold me
As the questions keep droning

You're the only one who stuck it out last night
The only other one who caught the other line
You're the only one when this world collides
The one that I can't deny

It's undeniable how brilliant you are
In an unreliable world you shine like a star
It's unforgettable now that we've come this far
It's unmistakable that you're undeniable

It's my last year here
My first class moved to portable 'A'
Under construction since summer
And it's cold today
I can see my breath, and what's left of the west parking lot
And all the spaces that we fought
And it all seems forgotten, left in the bottom
In past piles of rubble, in puddles of rain water
That hurt last night when I left like that
When I won't come back
Speaking my peace to the past
I can't help but wonder. who is this wind at my back
A whisper to walk on, come on from all that

You're the only one who stuck it out last night
The only other one who caught the other line
You're the only one when this world collides
The one that I can't deny

It's undeniable how brilliant you are
In an unreliable world you shine like a star
It's unforgettable now that we've come this far
It's unmistakable that you're undeniable

How am I gonna take it away in this winter wind
You found me on a summer breeze
How am I gonna run away when the autumn breaks
Now that you gound me in the spring
Come on and sing it out

It's undeniable how brilliant you are
In an unreliable world you shine like a star
It's unforgettable now that we've come this far
It's unmistakable that you're undeniable

It's undeniable how brilliant you are
In an unreliable world you shine like a star
It's unforgettable now that we've come this far
It's unmistakable that you're undeniable

-Mat Kearney

Why whould i like a girl that hates me? Isn't it like fighting a losing battle?

If Only Nothing Else Matters

COUNTDOWN: 1 week since school started, 8 more weeks to holidays.

First week of school was slightly stressful. Adapting to the new time table is going to take some time. Taking 2 extra modules this semester... I guess that was the my basic study plan for my year one, chiong 1st year, then slow down for the following year and so on. But if i'm in this class for the next 2 years too, i guess cannot slow down... ARGH...

Got 3rd position for my course in the first semester. I supposedly got that position over my friend with the same GPA as he cause i took an extra module. Ha... I guess learning extra stuff does have its advantages... XD

Man... I've got a lecturer that swears with almost every sentence he says. He actually asked us if any of us were uncomfortable with swearing, no one was so he continued doing what he does best. After a while it gets a little bit too much... Maybe cause it was the first session and thus was in a more joking mood. Oh well, if not i probably will have to get used to it...

ARGH... Suddenly having a headache... Then suddenly it disappears again... Ah... Waste my time worrying bout myself... Got to prepare for school tomorrow soon...

Don't even bother asking me if i like anyone. I would say no. Why? Cause there's no reason for you to know anything. Even if i do like that person, the answer will be no. Don't force me to lie cause i don't like it. And don't force me to have to force you to shut up.

Ah... Now to start packing my bag for tomorrow... See yah next time!!

Give Until I Have Nothing Left To Give

What Doesn't Kill Me Can Only Make Me Stronger

Couldn't bring myself to blog for the past week. Wasn't busy, was probably lazy instead. What ca none expect from holidays where nothing was done? Yeah...

Thursday went back to school to get notes. Couldn't get everything cause not everything was there yet... Bookshop wasn't helpful either. They didn't know what book i had to get... had to tell them what's the exact name of the book... Ah... An hour trip to spend less then an hour there, ann i couldn't get everything... Wasted sia...

Friday went back again for some ECE student helper training. It didn't exactly felt like training... I expected something more physical i guess and went prepared to move around alot... Who expected that all we mainly had to do was sit and listen to the lecturers talk like any other school day. Oh well, at least it was more interesting then actual lessons... XD

School starting in 2 days time. TIME TO CHARGE THE BATTERIES AND START THE ENGINE!!! Hope the engine won't die on the first day... JIA YOU!! This semester probably have to chiong all the way to keep up with the smart and crazily hard working people... And i heard of one guy who already finished his maths work for this semester... ARGH!!!

That should be enough craziness for now. See yah next time!!

Say Your Goodbyes If You've Got Someone You Can Say Goodbye To

Weird Weather, Weird Dreams

It was so hot the past few days, then all of a suddenly it was raining cats and dogs. Not that i'm complaining or so ever, it created the best time for me to catch up on sleep, which i did. Had a dream. Quite weird it was. Looks like another item to be posted up somewhere else.

Past few days has been boring... Not much cash to go out thanks to my phone bill arriving this week... Have yet to pay it... I guess i better go find a job since i won't be going to a camp already cause my dad felt uncomfortable with Campus Crusade for Christ. Look like have to convince my parents that my CCA is okay all over again... Oh well, hope i can find one that allows me to work for 2 weeks until school opens nearby.

Man... The weather's so cool now that i feel like just dropping onto my bed and sleep. Tomorrow will probably be a hot day, followed by a few more hot days before a very cold one like today. Wonder if i predicted correctly... Only time will tell...

Whole of last week was spent playing Crisis Core: Final Fantasy 7. Slowed down a lot this week cause lost the mood to play... Tomorrow will probably get back to all the hacking and slashing and the stupid puzzles in Japanese. Should have taught myself to read some of it... Oh well, guess i will just brute force my way through the game. XD

Maybe i should draw out a layout of my room on how i want it to look like if it is ever renovated. When one has so much free time, one must learn to use it wisely. With much time needs much wisdom. Ha... That sounded like one of Spiderman's greatest quote. XD

That's all for now, over here that is. Going to record my dream somewhere else. See yah next time!!

Where i'm going, no person can follow.

To Bounce Back Up

Back again. Already pass the emo phase already. The next phase should be the anger phase, but i'm not going to let myself go there this time. And i hope i will never get to that phase again. Why? Cause i would start blaming the other party instead. Then the next phase will be when i get emo and start blaming myself, only to get back to the anger stage again... Stupid vicious cycle...

Oh well, if my intentions gets mistaken, i guess there's nothing much i can do. Should have been a little more clear perhaps. Hopes everything works out in the end. Argh... Got the urge to start blaming everything but me...

I finally won Minda at bowling again!! Second time i ever beat him. How many times he won me? Erm... Countless?? :x

I need an outlet for my stress... Maybe would start jogging tomorrow, if i can wake up early enough... Got to force myself to start waking up early again...

And my private blog. You won't find it. Even if you did, u can't access it unless i allowed you to. Want to access it? Ask me. And i will see about it. Ask and you shall receive. (:

That's all for now. See yah!

Ha... Ending up in the hospital now doesn't seem like such a bad thing more. Should i purposely just give myself such a major chest trauma and let pneumothorax will recur again? Or should i just push my body to its limits?

Unforgiven

Looks like there are times maybe telling the truth may not be the best thing to do. I thought i could handle the hatred, but i guess i couldn't. Those eyes just sucked the life out of me. Damn it. I thought i didn't ever needed a private blog ever again, but i guess there are feelings that i don't want people to know about. Guess now i know what's the meaning of curiosity killed the cat.

All i say this: I'm sorry.

It's times like this when i wonder if i did the right thing. Guess i will know the consequences soon... Wish i had the heck care attitude of some people now. Oh well... I guess even the worst thing i can think of that could happen isn't that bad after all...

Just Shake It

Woah... Just felt tremors at home... Imagine this: Here i am on my computer suddenly feeling myself shaking. Thinking that it was just me, i continued to ignore it... Then my dad asked if we felt any shaking then did i felt anything wrong... Man, i'm slow ain't i?

Seems like the quake originated from somewhere south of Jarkata. Then there was another near the west coast of Sumatra. I guess the quake this time was more major cause we could feel it. The last time i felt tremors, i could almost barely feel it. This time, i could see things in my house shaking. Then after the tremors, i joked with my dad about me shaking by shaking on a spot. And guess what he said? The Chaos Theory. My shaking could cause a major disaster in India...

Watched High School Musical 2 a few days back. To me, it felt like watching 1 very long music video... The soundtracks were nice, but i guess i prefer it to stay as something i listen to. Sometimes the scenes are just... dumb. Where can you find someone that will break people up cause they wanted to win a competition and succeeded in doing their dumb quest only to have it spoiled last minute and have everything work out nicely for the everybody in the end? Guess that's what i don't like bout some shows, how unrealistic this things are... But the music saved it from me. Guess u can also say i'm shaking to it too...

Ha... Guess that's all for now. See yah people met time!! And check out the video below. Beautiful, to me that is. (:



People in love get fast and foolish
People in love get everything wrong
People in love get scared and stupid
People in love get everything wrong

People in love get special treatment
People in love get everything wrong
People in love their hearts get eaten
People in love get everything wrong

Just Minor Stuff

Hey people, guess i'm back again with one of my mundane updates. Hmmm... I went to cut my hair this Monday before i went for the class gathering BBQ, forgot to say so in my earlier post cause was having a major headache. Guess i'm fine now. The headache was probably caused by lack of rest from the BBQ the night before...

The next event of the week was the minor(thanks to people not being free or not contacting me...) CG gathering. Had fun at Minds Cafe playing the different board games. Guess i'm not very good at doing business... Probably cause my mind kept wondering off... And stupid Thomas and Benjamin kept ganging up on me... Very hard to win with 2 cousins picking on me i guess... Hey, it's not cause i was a easy target, it was just because i'm... ME. -_-'''

Next was today, had a DG gathering. Went back to Dhoby Ghaut for the second day in a row... But to play lan. Man... I'm realli out of shape when it comes to playing computer games... Guess that's how long i haven't been touching that kind of games. Had fun killing the monsters anyway... XD

I guess that's all for now. Better rest early... Don't want a recurrence of that horrible headache... See yah people around!!

And when nothing is done about feelings for a long time, they die out. Guess that's what's happening now.

Killer Headache...

ARGH... Just developed a killer headache around 3 hours ago... The Panadol just set in so i guess i am posting before it comes back to haunt me again... Doc says it is just the chills. And i was ok a few hours ago... And i am helping Pastor Edwin organise people to come for the gathering this Thursday, and some people ain't exactly making it any easier... >.<'''

Yesterday had 4I gathering at Pasir Ris Park. Around 15 people turned up. Was actually planning to stay overnight but Jeanie chicken-ed out as she was scared of the dark. Dark, because there was a power trip in the whole park... Imagine BBQ-ing in the dark... I can't even see if my satay was done properly... But thank goodness Weijin was there to taste the food. XD

Ah... Jeanie is not going to plan anymore class gatherings anymore, or so she says. She said that if she was to organise another one, she will treat me. Do i have to force her to do one?? XD Or if she really keeps her word, somebody else will have to step up to organise one next time...

Man... can feel the headache coming back...Wrapping up this post now i guess. See yah next time!! When i'm better that is...

And as i stare into oblivion...

I Need A Haircut Or A New Hairstyle...

Today, i went back to both my primary and secondary school. I thought i would be the first ex-student to reach the school but looks like 4 other kids beat me to it... Reached there around 10.10am. Oh well... Had a chat with my ex-form teacher about how things are so far. Then soon i left for my secondary school after just spending 15mins there. Maybe i should have spent longer at Yangzheng and looked up more teachers but i guess i just didn't felt like it, probably cause i was alone. The school has changed much over the 4 years since i left. And my batch had to leave the school before the renovations were complete... Missed out on all the hype about having a new school building... Ha... Oh well, looks like i will also be missing out on all eh hype about Peicai shifting too, though temporary. XD

Ok, back on track. Took my time to walk to Peicai. I didn't actually looked like i was taking my time, but i was already walking at a slower speed then i usually would anyway. When i first reached outside school, only recognised a few people from the previous years but didn't saw any of my ex-classmates. Only when i saw a friend of mien arriving and followed him did i realise that a few of them were hiding behind a corner. Not exactly hiding but just out of my view. And there was the respond i expected cause of my hair... "OMG!! YOUR HAIR!!" And once in a while the "GO CUT LAH"s would come in...

Ok, back on track. Then also as expected, around 60%-70% of people who used to recoginse me didn't recognise me. I could walk right in front of them and stare, but they still don't recognise me... Can't help it i guess, i changed my hairstyle and specs since the beginning of the year. I guess no one actually thought i could change so much in less then a year. Guess i proved them wrong. And guess what i thought was one of the best lines i said today? "Who says poly very free?? I so busy until no time to cut my hair!!" XD

After that had lunch with Minda. And while having lunch, met Weijin cause he came to Peicai late and missed everybody... Then he just happened to bump into us while we were eating... We hen headed to COMEX to jalan jalan, and cause Minda wanted to look find camera lenses. In the end, found out there weren't lenses for his camera for sale... Oh well... Anyway, we had a few games of pool after that. I guess each of us wow a round each. And i realised my skills have all gone down the drain... T.T

We then boarded the train back to Serangoon and decided to follow Weijin for his haircut. Nothing better to do i guess. Then i left early cause i had to get home to help order pizza for dinner. ROSEMARY CHICKEN FEAST!!! CHEESE ROCKS!! CHEESY STUFF ROCKS TOO!!!

And this coming Sunday will be teachers day celebration over at church. Mei Hsien will be baking more CHEESE TARTS!!! YEAH!!! CHEESY CHEESY ALL THE WAY!! XD

Ok, i feel cheesy now... Better let the the cheesy-ness stop before it overflows. Get it? Overflowing cheese?? Ha... Ok, enough of cheesing around... XD

Ah... My hair is starting to irritate my eyes, guess i better cut soon or change the style. Lets see what hair-wax plus long hair equal to... Will probably try a different style this Sunday. Man... My tiredness is catching up with me... Better go grab some eye shut... See you when i will see you again!!

To do what i have to do is not he easiest thing to do. But i guess doing what my heart wants to do is harder.

Mistakes And Misunderstandings

About what my mom did, i guess i'm over it already. I apologized to her already after a talk with my dad yesterday night. What my dad said made sense i guess, we are from different generations. During their time, parents offer their children services. And now, i want to be consulted first before having our services offered. Ah... The generation gap or personality gap? XD

Now for some pictures i felt like uploading a few days ago...

Saw this my way home one day. Never going to use that vending machine again...

Man... I need a better camera... My phone won't do it anymore... Took this at the airport before Joshua flew off. Don't bother about my hair... I couldn't be bothered to gel it so late... XD

Before Josh flew off, we had a farewell lunch at a restaurant called "Mr Bean's". No, it has nothing to do with the food chain outlet which sell soya bean milk. They probably named the restaurant after The comedian Mr Bean. They had this image of Mona Lisa but with the face of Mr Bean Pasted on where the head is. Didn't take a picture of that cause i was just too lazy too. XD

Man... I'm looking for a job now. With 7 weeks of holidays here, Better use it doing something useful. Ha... Anybody can recommend me anything?? XD

Ah... I got to go already. Need the rest or i may end up with a bad flu in the morning... Oh well, see yah!!

我不能说的秘密 XP

Guess what movie i watched today? From the title should be quite obvious right? Went to watch it with Reuel and Melissa. The rest of the CG didn't seem free anyway, with promos/prelims coming up for them. Oh well... Look like only some of the poly and cooking students are free... So we decided to go catch a show. Ha... Was Mel's 2nd time watching it. Thank goodness she didn't mind watching it again with us guys... XD

Hmm... Come to think of it, this was the first Chinese movie i ever watched in a cinema... The rest was TV... So, how was the show? Well... it's supposed to be a secret isn't it? XD Still persistent eh? Ok... Shall only say 1 thing: The way the story is twisted is incredible. That all i shall say about it. Want to know more? You have to watch it yourself. XP

Ah... Was very angry with my mom yesterday. She offered my services without consulting me first. It felt like i was maid or an object to be traded for use among family and friends. And guess what she said when i confronted her? "I wasn't thinking about that." And after a few more exchanges of word? "I didn't know my son was so sensitive." So i guess 1) My feelings weren't exactly considered and 2) She didn't know that her son of 17 YEARS PLUS is sensitive. I didn't say the last part to her. Why? I kept to the topic i was on. The very fact that i felt i wasn't being respected was bad enough already. And i already told her i was going out today, so there was no reason for her to offer me helping out people today too. And she felt she did nothing wrong at all. I guess i am disgusted slightly now. Giving her the silent treatment now. Respect has to work both ways, never 1 way.

Sometimes i wonder if i am in the wrong. Am i wrong just trying to seek what's right? Am i wrong to want to get the basic respect i deserve? Oh well...

Ah... That's all for now... My mom spoiled my mood for the next few days already. Don't feel liek uploading pics now... Maybe next time then... See yah!!

我们都有不想说的秘密。不想让别人知道的东西。可是秘密能当秘密多久呢？

Heart-Wrenching Dramas Are Just Heart-Wrenching

Guess the first thing you people will see is a new layout. Just decided to change it after much consideration. However, this current blogskin is just a skin in transition. Cause i feel that there is something still missing. Will probably do something about it after my exams...

ARGH... Tomorrow is my first exam paper... On a Saturday too... A nice Saturday... One of those nice days where i can relax and take a break from the struggles of poly life... And they had to put a paper on that day... Oh well, at least all my papers finish next Tuesday. Maybe i can consider bringing those foreigners in my class out to play in Singapore before they head back to their home countries... Shall consider after all my papers...

Man, that stupid heart-wrenching Chinese drama... Guess they managed to accomplish their goal. When people can relate to their show can keep coming back for more, they win... Can't let them do that to me... Have... To... Resist... And now i feel like watching the finale next week... XD

Ha... If only life works out like in drama serials, many of us would probably be living our dreams now. But what's life without suffering?? And don't forget unfairness too. But in the end we still carve out our own futures regardless of what is thrown at us, only thing is whether we let it those stuff affect how we live our life.

Ah... Next post i think i will be uploading some photos for fun. Hmm... should i add music to my blog?? Whenever i visit someone's blog with music i tend to try to stop it or off my speakers... Okay, no music it is...

Oh well, better rest early for my paper tomorrow morning... See yah people around!!

Better is one day in your courts then a thousand elsewhere.

And You Can Feel The Hatred

Hmm, i wonder if anyone still reads this blog. The tagboard only gets tags once every few weeks or something. Oh well, this blog is just like a diary to me so who cares? Just some random thoughts of someone on Earth. Suddenly i seem so insignificant...

Man, a video company in SG, Odex, just licensed a whole list of anime a while back. And guess what? If you are caught downloading those anime, they can charge you for copyright infringement. And yah, they got the permission to find you, me and anyone who actually downloaded or are downloading those anime and fine them, fine right? Oh well, there goes my weekly fix of Bleach... And why did Odex license these animes? So they can sub and dub it. Then you have to buy it if you want to watch it. But as far as i know, the quality of their sub n dub ain't actually very good. And compare it to the better quality and free subbed versions that can be found online, what would you choose if you had a choice?? Obvious answer it should be... And at the rate this continues, SG fans maybe left behind when an anime progresses... Oh well, guess we have to pay the price for whatever we did, if we ever did anything.

Hmm... A friend of mine will be leaving SG this Sunday for London. He came from London many years back and that was when i first met him in church. Berry nice meeting it was. Why berry? Cause that's his surname!! XD Will be seeing him off this Sunday. Hope i will be able to see him again. His family may drop by cause his maternal grandparents live across the causeway. I will miss him i guess, like how i miss my secondary school days.

Oh yah, recently i did the letter to myself that will be given to me in a year time. I wrote bout different things from last time, like what i hope will happen and thanking God for helping me through all the while. I wonder how me in a year will be like... Only time will tell i guess. (:

That's all for now. See yah people next time!!

Half a year to renewal of promises to myself

This Very One Life Each Of Us Have

I guess i knew who he is. I wondered what was he thinking when he was falling down before contacting with the ground. Was it regret? Was his life flashing before him? I guess i didn't really know him very well, but i knew him. I guessed that was enough. Shocked me i guess. Never guessed he would be one who would do that, if he did. Sure he looked and behaved liked a gangster, but he had a good heart. He turned down an offer to be a councilor even thought u had the potential. A memory you may become, but a lasting one it will be.

Back on track to life, last time we heard, only 21 of the Korean hostages were alive. Pray that they will be ok... Too many stuff happening the pass few days... First a Korean hostage killed, then a Peicaian dying...

Now on to other stuff. One year ago i wrote a letter to myself during CG lesson giving thanks to God for things then. The now me reading the letter from me from a year ago, i guess i changed a little. 1 year back i was into getting into a JC. Look at where i am now. I was still slightly obsessed with my medical condition a year back. And now i practically don't care about my condition unless the pain comes back. Ha... Oh well. Hope i actually changed for the better.

That's all for today folks. See yah around!

Realised something after watching High School Musical on TV yesterday night and a little of Spiderman 3 (Don't ask me how i have it XP) this morning:

Nerd =
Nerd + Super Voice = Win (High School Musical etc..)
Nerd + Superpower = Win (Spiderman etc..)

Currently i think i am the first equation, which actually means it equals to nothing as far as i know now. Maybe one day i will know what it is, or i may fall under a different classification next time. Or maybe one day addition of something also comes in. But when has life ever turned out like a movie?? Wait, maybe the tragic parts are more likely to happen compared to the good parts...

Oh well, tiredness is taking over me already... See yah people around!!

And it's not hard to fall, when you float like a cannonball...

Falling Eyelids

Tiredness is going to over take me soon... Better get going to bed right after this... Let's see, this week stared off fine, maybe a little slow being the last Monday this term i have to go to school, yeah. Then my sis got Harry Potter And the Deathly Hallows cause she saw it on offer in school. She wanted to get it last Sunday but they only had stock for people who reserved it. So she jumped on the first chance she could to get it, but at a better price too, $5 cheaper. XD

Last German lesson did nothing much besides watching a heartwarming German movie about this kid who has to keep the truth from his mom that was in coma during the reunification of Germany as his mom supported a side before she ended up in that state. Seeing all the trouble the son went through so that the mom didn't know the truth was heartwarming i guess. But the mom didn't live long. And thus ended a life built on lies. Why keep the truth from the mom? Doctor's advice that due to her heart condition, she couldn't take too much shock. But i guess in the end, he learned that lying is never a good thing as it leads to more lies to cover up that lie.

Now considering if i should continue taking German classes next semester. And my group mates are trying to convince me to stay. Reason? Cause we have been doing good together so far. What i think? I was thinking about stopping after this term as staying back after school is tiring but i guess staying for one more semester won't be so bad as i decided at the beginning of the year that i would spent my first year studying... Maybe i am regretting my promise to myself but a promise is a promise i guess...

Man... I got to register for my NS soon... They send this letter about 2 weeks back to inform me that i have to register... And i also have to start studying soon... Exams are in about 3 weeks time... Wait a minute, i already have a paper next week. ARGH.

Man... and recently i realised i misplaced my allen key for my skates... Do i have to get a new one so fast after only a few weeks of usage?? Ah... Wasted...

Just read finished Harry Potter earlier. I started off on Tuesday right after my sis finished it. I guess i am a slow reader, but hey, i was busy with other stuff and wasn't willing to throw it all away for a book unlike crazy fans. The story started off ok, got a little draggy in the middle before it started to get interesting. Ah, the irony of it all. And i don't intend to spoil the story unless i benefit from doing so which i don't think i won't. I just felt too many people died in the story... =X

Man, i just forgot to do something... Looks like i have settle it tomorrow i guess... Now, time to settle the housework cause dad's out... LAUNDRY HERE I COME!!!

Now, where did i left all my suan-ing power this time??

Just Felt Like Blogging

Woah... Suddenly this week is all over... Time flew i guess, maybe a little too fast too wit hall my homework building up... Looks like i have to start being more serious now with exams around the corner... Had a presentation on Monday, where i forced myself to comb my hair... Then had a German test and skit on Wednesday... And rounding it all up was the church anniversary celebration today with a lunch.

Ok... Let's start from the beginning... The presentation ended up quite ok i guess, cause i group rehearsed a few times before the the real thing. The only problem i probably had was talking too fast... But i was talking slower then i was talking during the rehearsal anyway so i guess i improved a little... XD

Next up, German test and skit on the same day. Both are graded by the way. My group met before class for the skit. The script was last minute bu at least it wasn't as last minute as the other groups who did it on the spot... =X The German written test was much more simpler then what we thought. The whole bunch of us were ready to cheat but we didn't in the end... XD

Fast forward to today's anniversary lunch. My family was there early as my Dad was helping out in the technical side, as he always does. We actually waited for more then a hour before everything started. Oh well, it over anyway, and time actually flew then anyway... Before lunch came, a bunch of us were cleaning our utensils with tissue as the they looked dirty like they have been just taken out of a store room... Probably cause they never catered to so many people before. It was only a 2 stars restaurant anyway, so i guess too much cannot be expected. The food was only so-so. Nothing really stands out much. Where is this restaurant? Turf city level 2. Ah Huat or something i think, can't really remember the name now... XD

Hmm... i guess that's all the main stuff that happened this week. Then there are otehr stuff for me to ponder upon i guess. There was once i wished i could dream and remember every detail about them, but that never happened. Until now that is, when all i want is a good night sleep and not think too much when i sleep. Got to exhaust my mind more so my brain will also go and rest... or at least don't remember them. Or does this things and an extra meaning? I can't really remember them any much now so i guess that doesn't matter.

I guess that's all for the moment. See yah people next time!!

To see your smile from the shadows is more then enough for me.

Thinking Straight, Or At Least Trying To...

Just got back home from church helping my dad out in an event. Didn't really do much, probably cause it was my first time helping with the PA system. But i didn't touch the PA system, only played with the lights, as in switching them on and off. Now waiting for my hair to dry so i guess i have some thought floating around in my head so i decided to use the blog to sort out my thought.

Negative thoughts creates negative actions. Negative actions cause more negative thoughts. It's a vicious cycle. But some times all it takes is a little nudge from anybody to tell you that you can break from the cycle anytime you want. But why don't we want to break out of the cycle sometimes? Is it cause we enjoy this negative emotions? Wait... Enjoyment is positive, but it gets canceled out with the negative emotions. But another thing is that negative with more negative doesn't comes up with a positive in real life. If the last statement was true, imagine all the bad things that will happening now, in hope that a positive will come out of it...

Ha... Not bad, i manage to blog about what i wanted to blog about without using much details. I find using too much details dangerous as anyone can use the info against me if i do. Or maybe i like my secrets to stay as secrets. Did i tell you a secret before?? Oh... That probably means that i didn't tell you everything about it. Trust is something i'm still learning about. And looks like i don't trust too easily either.

Sometimes i wonder if i would be any better without any feelings. No hurt, no love, no jealousy, no anger, no happiness. I guess maybe not. Even thought my feelings may mess up my sense of reasoning at times, i guess that's what makes me who i am. The silly me. XD

God sometimes speak to me in the strangest ways. I guess this tiem was through a kid. No used getting too depressed thinking about something, cause there are so many more things around that makes you happy thinking about it.

Just saw a nick of my friend, "You never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back." Oh well, that explains a lot about my losing streak, don't you think so? I guess holding back i what i do best now. Look like another point is to be more outgoing... Wait... Did i miss the whole point of the sentence or didn't i? That's for you to figure out cause i ain't giving too much details here.

I got a feeling i should have done something today, but i guess i didn't. Man, why did i get myself blinded by my negative emotions again... GAH... Got to work harder on this...

That's enough random thoughts for now... I guess my brain is pretty much more sorted out now. See yah peopel around!!

Was It All Worth It??

Sometimes in life, you do something expecting a certain result, but it never happens. And you wonder was it all worth it? It never turned out the way you wanted it to, neither was it the goal you were working towards. Was the effort put in worth it? Then maybe you start asking yourself, am i asking for too much? Or is this something i can never accomplish or get? Am i even meant to accomplish or get it? Or all i can do is just see someone else do/get it?

Just some random thoughts that follows more random thought ans so on until a paragraph is formed. Ha...

Recently for one of my church group discussion discussion 2 Sundays ago, we were talking about friends. then we got on the topic of close friends and my opinion was asked for. But i guess i didn't really have one cause i don't really have a close friend. Why? Not sure. My CG leader found it sad, but i didn't i guess. I was probably thinking of an excuse to get myself out of the sticky situation but i decided to keep quiet. Don't make the situation get worse right? I would probably think about it more then enough when i get back home anyway... And i came up wit ha reason: If i don't have a close friend, that means i don't share my super super secrets with anybody. And if i don't share it with anybody, that means there will be a very very low chance of anyone finding out. The only way anyone would know would probably be a slip of my tongue or my body language giving me away which i don't think will be happening soon...

Hmm... Last Saturday I went to watch Transformers with Nat, then on the next day, I went to watch Die Hard 4.0 with my church friends. 2 movies in 2 days is just too much at the moment... especially when i just my brand new pair of spectacles and am still adjusting to it... Transformers was mainly about "BOOM" and "BAM". Other then that, i enjoyed the fight scenes between the robots, besides those that were hidden by the explosions... Die Hard was also mainly "BOOM" and "BAM". It probably was just like the normal Die Hard movies but with more of today context. Look like i wasn't a spoiler for either movies. XD

Ha... That's probably all for now, see yah people next time!!

Back And Fro

BACK AGAIN TO BLOG!!! Haven't touched here in a long time... I guess the previous post was too long and thus didn't have the energy to blog after that for a while... XD

Yesterday had skating. The beginners(us) learned a little about urban-ing. And all we did was skate down a slope. BUT most of us fell... Probably cause we weren't used to it and we still didn't know how to brake properly... Most of us probably went home with one sort of injury or another... The more advanced skaters really urban-ed around the school, as in outside. I once thought ShuWen injured ans asked her if she was ok, then the only reply i got was, "KELVIN! Why you keep changing your hair??" =.='''

Hmm... Nothing much to blog about now i guess... So still next time, see yah around!!

Finally Back Home And Settled Down... For The Moment At Least...

HEY!!! I'm finally back home and thrown back into my busy schedule. Lets see... I just settled most of my online homework, so i should have left only my project to settle... And that should be settled by this Friday when i meet up with the rest of my group members... And now i can finally blogged about my past few days...

Lets start from the beginning... Last Thursday was the start of YaYA(Youth and Young Adult) camp in my church. And since i was part of the planning committee in charge of logistics with my friend Ming Ci, we were very busy... Every night for 2 nights of the camp i slept probably slightly less then 2 hours...

First day was at Bethel Presbyterian Church. It was near my house but my mom didn't want me to go back home to bath... We had some simple games that were interesting... An example was us having to form a Chinese bible verse using words taken from Chinese newspapers and magazines.And we also mad salad. My group had the most simplest salad but it was nice ok...
I spent most of the second day at East Coast as i was part of the team that had to be there early to book a place for the campers at night. It was boring as all we had to do was just pitch up tents and wait for the rest of the campers to arrive after a programme which will lead them to East Coast. We arrived at East Coast at around 11am, tents were up by 1:30pm, then lunch for us only arrived an hour later. Imagine both Ming Ci and i talking about what kind of food to expect in that 1 hour... Oh yah, when we reached East Coast, it was raining quite heavily. But it stopped in time for us to set up the tents. And after it stopped, there was a double rainbow. I missed the first one, as both appeared one after another. Double blessing? Yeah. IT was liek a sign to show us that the camp will go on smoothly. Thank God.

The campers only arrived around 7-8pm. And all i had to do was just relax. But guess what? Relax ain't exactly part of my dictionary... And i was walking all over the place just looking for something to do... Then soon was the BBQ which i didn't ate much as my throat wasn't fully recovered yet. Then night came. Me being me, couldn't relax and was awake most of the night. I walked around, stared at the stars until the clouds covered them, walked with my CG group members all the way to 7-Eleven, which was quite far away, and back again, talkign about anything under the sun, or you could say moon and stars.

Then came the last day. Most of us were up early to see a sun rise, but it ended up to cloudy to see anything, but it was still quite a nice sight.

After then we went back to to Bethel for a short break before the rest of the programmes t wrap up the camp. During that break, i went home to eat breakfast and BATHE!!! YEAH. So while everybody was asleep, i was enjoying myself. XP Ha... Then after that we had a talk about looking good which actually convinced me to go for a hair cut cos my hair was already quite long... Minda saw it last Monday. Now, my hair probably need a little bit more touching up before i am going to look better...

After breaking camp, i went to the barber as it was along the way back home. Right after reaching home, I had to start packing for a trip to Malaysia the following day... Talk about cramp timetable... It was as the church leaders are having a retreat and my dad was going so my whole family came along. So i couldn't rest that night but i decided to blog a little before i knocked out and thus my previous post appeared.

Then the next day i was in church before i slept most of the way to Malacca. Not exactly a habit of mine as i never really sleep during the day. I guess i really knocked out then. After reaching Equatorial Hotel over there, I settled into my room all alone as my room mate will only be coming the next day. We then had a short service before dinner and the theme talk of the day before bed.

The bunch of us younger people(I purposely didn't use the word kids) didn't had to attend most of the talks so see how much time we had... However in the end, we still had to attend most of the talks even though some of the content was a little too hard of those younger ones to understand. Oh well... At least i got to spent 10rm all to myself... But in the arcade only... Wanted to buy something couldn't find something that caught my eye...

The whole trip was 3 days 2 nights... Unfortunately for me, i fell sick on the second night and had to go to bed early... Probably caught something in the shopping mall when i was there that afternoon... Then i heard i missed out on some games the younger lot off us played until 5 in the morning... Oh well, at least i was at my 100% for the rest of that day anyway... While they were nodding of all over the place... XD

After that we then went back home. Along the way, we stopped by this shop which sold all kind of snacks. Outside i we saw this tree called Malacca tree. Don't believe me?? See the picture.

I guess the trip was for the family to relax also, but me being me, like my mom, couldn't relax properly. But i think i relaxed more then her cause you could see she was very tensed through out the whole trip. Looks like i still relax better then her...

These six days has been busy, fun, exhausting and reflective at the same time. I guess i may have figured out somethings. Did my head head become clearer?? I hope so. At least i know one thing for sure: I'm never alone, cause Jesus is always with me. And without him, nothing i do can actually be done properly. (:

Now thats what i call a long post... That should be enough for now... See yah next time!!

Dazed And More Dazed...

Just came back from my church camp today... Will updates details some other time when i am less tired... Why tired? I had only around 4-5 hours of sleep the past 2 night, and i am going overseas tomorrow again.. Why did i have so little sleep?? Erm... cause i was part of the planning team in charge of logistics and when i do a job, i threw away the word "relax" from my dictionary... Wait, Did i even have such a word there in the first place?? XD

Ah... I'm going to go pack my bag soon before i concuss on my bed... And i am already starting to see things further then i know they are... Dazed... Oh well, i better finish my stuff as soon as possible... See yah next time!!

Its Regrettable That I Am Regreting The Regretted

Sorry about the title, just wanted to play around a little with words and that was what i ended up with. Hey, i just regretted putting up regrettable title! Ok, that was lame... Oh well, i guess this blog post is also going to be something like the title in the sense that it probably ain't going to make much sense. What i do best yeah??

Hmm... I just decided that blog on impulse. Why? Just felt like it. So i guess this post is going to be just crap i guess. Maybe i am going to regret doing this post later, maybe not. Am i regretting doing some of the stuff i did in the past? I think so. But i guess it is no use regretting now, Since it is already over. Regretting doesn't solve it or makes the situation any better. I've been telling some people that it is no use regretting over something that has already happened, but try their best to not let such a regrettable experience happen again. Not that i haven't been following the my own advice, but sometimes its hard not to regret. Especially when some memories are stirred up randomly by some random incidents...

Look like MSN isn't allowing me to sign in at the moment... Oh well, i got to go already anyway. See yah around!!

Flu Away On My Birthday...

WHATS UP PEOPLE!!! Long time no blog, thought i gone?? I guess i has been busy the pass few days as i wanted to stay away from the computer when i could as i had been using it alot and i had a few class tests a few days back. And nest week will be my common test already...

Oh well, i will be posting up some photos i took with my phone recently... And you shoudl know i take crap photos... XD

The BEST looking food in my school as far as i know. Called KAKI FUYONG. YEAH.

I took this pic before my German class. Guess i was bored and wanted to do something dumb... XD

Some of the canteens in my school Whatever also don't have, then don't have Anything... Choosing drink very difficult at those canteens lah...

I twisted my ankle 2 Sundays ago playing captains ball at my church... Thus i ended up as the captain for the rest of the games and only coming down when necessary to limp around...

Did this during my plastic moulding lesson recently. Did i do something wrong with the heart since it is broken?? No... I purposely chose a broken heart for the mould... And guess what my classmates said?? "Looks like you like broken things..."

Hmm... Let's start on today now... I woke up with a sore throat and dismissed it as nothing more then one and decided to treat it with Strepsils like what i always do. But it doesn't go away even after 6 continuous takes. And the reason for that will be: I AM SICK. And of all the days that the flu bugs choose to disturb me. My Birthday. The day i want to enjoy... Oh well, i guess the flu is such... It never comes when you want it to, but attacks when you least expect it... I guess you got to just play with the cards you are dealt in life.

Ha... That's all i have for now... Wait, that's not all... I still have a church camp coming up that i am part of the planning team... Then also got another overseas trip right after that... Then Half my holidays gone... Oh well, at least i don't have time to do really, really stupid things... XD

Finally, that's all for now. See yah around!!!

Finally Blogger Seems Normal Enough To Blog...

Yeah, i finally blog again. So much happened the past few days. Yesterday, i had an interview for NP Scholarship as i applied to see if can make it. Look like i made it to the interview, but i just found out from a senior that is on the scholarship programme that he went through 2 interviews, and that the first 1 was actually alot more easier then the second one... And i heard the scholars always score 4 for their GPA(the overall grading system where 4 is the best and 0 is... zero). And i am taking an extra module this semester, which is German classes... ARGH... Will i be able to take it... Plus the competitiveness of the class i am in... Extra pressure...

Hmm... I guess i haven't blog for so long that i forgot about most of the stuff i was thinking about to blog for the past week but couldn't due to some strange prob...

I was on my way back home with Delia last Thursday after Inline Skating (we actually left earlier as we wanted to go home earlier... Shhh...), she got got a sms from Swee Hao saying that he became the president of choir in his school. I started comment on how random it was for Swee Hao to sms her on this kind of news, but she says it happens all the time. Then she shot em the question that doesn't anyone acutually messages me randomly. Then i started to thing, besides Phoebe's random stuff, not really. Look like either i am really lonely that i think of messaging people random as inconsiderate or that i she is different... And i got a feelign the problem is with me...

Ha... I guess that is enough for now... I need to rest... Just got home from German lesson anyway... See yah people around!!

I Guess This Was What I Wanted

Today's Labour Day. And that is not because everybody is labour-ing away, but cause everybody is takign a break from labour-ing... So shouldn't it be called Labour-less Day? Ah... I guess i am back to my old crappy self... XD

School has been very busy... Yesterday i had my lesson online... So many problems crop up... I guess in the end i had to solve the problem all by myself... And it took just as long as school but the only difference is that it wasn't done in school... Not much difference anyway... Might as well have done it in school...

Recently, my uncle passed away. Last Friday that is. Not that i was very close to him or something. His relation to me was only the brother of my mom. We visited him a few days before he passed on. He was in this critical ward where you were only allowed to enter if you wore a clean suit (those full body suits thing). I heard he got somethign that attacks his vital organs from my mom. We just stood behind the glass wall looking at someone who has tubes going in from almsot everywhere. Not sure what i felt then. Not sure what to feel anyway...

I seem to like the business of school... It keeps my mind of stuff that i shouldn't even be thinking about. And inline skating last thursday was not bad... I manage to move around... Next step: Turning and stopping properly... Wondered how i survived that day without turning?? I didn't turn at all... I stoped and walked aroudn then continued... Noobish me... XD

Manage to complete my German essay in English today... Played a little basketball myself today for at least an hour... And found out that i am really out of shape... But i guess until i get a lighter timetable load before i probably start taking time off to exercise...

ARGH... Tomorrow is going to be a tiring day again... Tomorrow i am not going to have German lesson but i am going to have to go online for the lesson... ARGH!!! E-Learning week is so... Not worth it... "To prepare us in case of something like SARS happen again, then no need come school for lessons", a teacher said. And when that day happens, my bro will be complaing about why he is lagging in his online game... Should i stay back in school tomorrow jsut to go online to do my German lessons? Choices again... Which runs a risk of me running into her again... Damn... And there is this nudging in me that wants to bump into her again... But i guess i jsut decided to go against it... That is if there is nothing that will change my plan tomorrow... If everything goes well...

Hmm... Maybe i should start putting some of the more private stuff on my private blog... I wonder if i still remember that account... Why? Look at the tagboard... Cass keeps chasing me about people identities... And guess what?? I didn't tell her... So guess what will be happening to me the next time i see Cass??

Ha... Now waiting for an anime episode to download finish... Listening to the radio... Ok, maybe i should be random and just type what i am hearing on the radio... I am not afraid to keep on living... I am not afraid to live this world alone... Ok... 2 lines are mroe then enough... i guess i will find something else to do now... See yah people around!!

Crawl. Walk. Run. Fly. Live.